Kayla Mueller to family: Give your pain to God

UPDATE: After confirming news of her death, Kayla Jean Mueller’s family released the following letter she sent them last year while still being held captive by Islamic State militants. The missing portions were redacted by the family.

Everyone, If you are receiving this letter it means I am still detained but my cell mates (starting from 11/2/2014) have been released. I have asked them to contact you + send you this letter. It's hard to know what to say. Please know that I am in a safe location, completely unharmed + healthy (put on weight in fact); I have been treated w/ the utmost respect + kindness. I wanted to write you all a well thought out letter (but I didn't know if my cell mates would be leaving in the coming days or the coming months restricting my time but primarily) I could only but write the letter a paragraph at a time, just the thought of you all sends me into a fit of tears.

If you could say I have "suffered" at all throughout this whole experience it is only in knowing how much suffering I have put you all through; I will never ask you to forgive me as I do not deserve forgiveness. I remember mom always telling me that all in all in the end the only one you really have is God. I have come to a place in experience where, in every sense of the word, I have surrendered myself to our creator b/c literally there was no else. + by God + by your prayers I have felt tenderly cradled in freefall. I have been shown in darkness, light + have learned that even in prison, one can be free. I am grateful. I have come to see that there is good in every situation, sometimes we just have to look for it. I pray each each day that if nothing else, you have felt a certain closeness + surrender to God as well + have formed a bond of love + support amongst one another. I miss you all as if it has been a decade of forced separation. I have had many a long hour to think, to think of all the things I will do w/ Lex, our first family camping trip, the first meeting @ the airport. I have had many hours to think how only in your absence have I finally @ 25 years old come to realize your place in my life.

The gift that is each one of you + the person I could + could not be if you were not a part of my life, my family, my support. I DO NOT want the negotiations for my release to be your duty, if there is any other option take it, even if it takes more time. This should never have become your burden. I have asked these women to support you; please seek their advice. If you have not done so already, (REDACTED) can contact (REDACTED) who may have a certain level of experience with these people. None of us could have known it would be this long but know I am also fighting from my side in the ways I am able + I have a lot of fight left inside of me. I am not breaking down + I will not give in no matter how long it takes. I wrote a song some months ago that says, "The part of me that pains the most also gets me out of bed, w/out your hope there would be nothing left." aka_The thought of your pain is the source of my own, simultaneously the hope of our reunion is the source of my strength. Please be patient, give your pain to God. I know you would want me to remain strong. That is exactly what I am doing. Do not fear for me, continue to pray as will I + by God's will we will be together soon.

All my everything, Kayla

OUR EARLIER REPORT (11 a.m. EST): The parents of a 26-year-old aid worker held captive by ISIS have received confirmation of her death. Kayla Jean Mueller, 26, worked in Turkey assisting Syrian refugees. ISIS took her hostage in August 2013 as she left a Syrian hospital.

The White House said Mueller’s parents, Carl and Marsha Mueller of Prescott, Ariz., received a private message from her captors over the weekend confirming her death. U.S. intelligence services authenticated the message.

President Barack Obama said Mueller “epitomized all that is good in our world.”

“No matter how long it takes, the United States will find and bring to justice the terrorists who are responsible for Kayla’s captivity and death,” the president said.

This past Friday, ISIS claimed Mueller died in a Jordanian airstrike on a building where she was being held near Raqqa, Syria. Both Jordanian and U.S. officials expressed doubts about the story, which sounded like anti-Jordanian propaganda. Neither Mueller’s family nor the U.S. government has said how or when she died.

Mueller previously volunteered with organizations in India, Israel, and the Palestinian territories. “Kayla was a compassionate and devoted humanitarian. She dedicated the whole of her young life to helping those in need of freedom, justice, and peace,” Carl and Marsha Mueller said in a statement. Family friend Todd Geiler said of Kayla Mueller, “She knew where she was headed. She knew what she wanted to do. There was compassion and caring for those less fortunate. She always wanted to help somebody in need.”

Mueller is the fourth American to die while held captive by ISIS militants. Three other Americans, journalists James Foley and Steven Sotloff and aid worker Peter Kassig, were beheaded by the group. There are no other known remaining American hostages held by ISIS.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.