Are large families harmful to children?

The ma and pa Waltons of the past have given birth to a new generation of parents who opt for smaller families in which children might not be able to make up their own softball team but do have ready access to the bathroom.

Over the past 40 years the number of moms with four or more children has dropped from 36 percent to only 12 percent, according to a recent Pew Research Center study.

Researchers from the University of Houston and the London School of Economics recently evaluated 26 years of data for the National Bureau of Economic Research, a nonprofit think tank. They found siblings had lowered cognitive abilities and increased behavioral problems with each added child in the family. Girls tended to suffer more cognitive setbacks and have a higher risk of teen pregnancies; boys developed more acting-out behavior.

And, the researchers found, those difficulties persisted into adulthood. Adults from large families tended to have lower levels of education, lower earnings, and more criminal behavior, according to The Washington Post.

The researchers attributed some of these findings to decreased parental involvement. Their study showed as family size increases, parents spend less time with children, read fewer books to them, and have fewer family meals.

Avidan Milevsky, a psychotherapist and psychology professor at the University of Pennsylvania, noted in larger families siblings had to compete more for parental attention, but they often had closer sibling bonds because they felt part of a team. Several studies showed children from larger families were more likely to be altruistic, cooperative, and interdependent, he wrote in Psychology Today.

Adults who grew up in large families seem to hold differing opinions about the benefits or costs. When Reddit, a social networking website, asked women who had grown up in big families if they liked it, the responses were mixed.

One person complained of lack of privacy, always having to wear hand-me-downs and constant “noise, noise, noise.” Another said the individual needs of the children got lost in her hectic family environment. She said her family was socially isolated because engaging in outside activities was too expensive and friends and extended family often didn’t want to host such a “brood.”

But two other responders said they “loved” growing up in large families because there was always someone to play with, the siblings looked out for one another, and those close sibling bonds persisted into adulthood.

“My sisters, to this day, remain my closest and best friends,” one wrote.

The personalities of both the parents and the children really determine whether a large family will work well, said Daniel Huerta, Focus on the Family’s executive director of parenting.

Introverted children are likely to feel more connected in a smaller family. In a larger family, they are apt to feel like no one listens to them and the family environment may seem chaotic and overwhelming. Introverted children are more apt to dislike the noise and commotion of a large family while more outgoing, relational children might love having more siblings to play with and more activity going on.

And the parents’ personalities play a large role as well, Huerta said. Having many children is exhausting, particularly if the children are in sporting events, music lessons, and various activities. Unless parents are very careful with their schedules, they can become so busy they don’t have time to know each of their children well.

“They become just a taxi service going from event to event,” he said.

On the other hand, Huerta said, some parents love to multitask and can manage a large family. Parents have to look at their own personalties and decide what they will be able to do well.

For parents to effectively disciple numerous children in a family, they must be both organized and relational.

“It takes a lot of work and intentionality for parents, and some parents are able to do it very well,” Huerta said.

See “Family size study used reliable data but got murky results” for additional coverage of this study.