Whitney Williams: Manic mechanic mama

NICK EICHER, HOST: Today is Tuesday, April 18th. Good morning! This is The World and Everything in It from listener-supported WORLD Radio. I’m Nick Eicher.

PAUL BUTLER, HOST: And I’m Paul Butler. If you’re a parent or grandparent, you’ve probably had the experience of trying to fix the same broken toy … over and over again. That kind of first world problem isn’t always fun, but Commentator Whitney Williams says in hindsight, the work of fixing a remote control car with dinner on the stove says more about mom than the toy.

WHITNEY WILLIAMS, COMMENTATOR: Remote control cars are the bane of my motherly existence.

It seems that each time we get a new one, I can’t even make it to the outside recycling bin with the Amazon box before something’s gone wrong.

CHILD: It’s not how it’s supposed to go working. It’s not supposed to be working like that.

Broken frame, been there, busted axle, done that. But most of the time, the car just stops working and usually it’s right in the middle of when I’m making dinner.

CHILD: Mom!

SOUND: [RC CAR DRIVING]

So I start off with a dramatic sigh and diagnostic questions: “When was the last time you charged it?” I’ll ask one of my boys. “How long is it supposed to charge? Is it supposed to be off or on while charging?”

He doesn’t know, of course. Doesn’t even know where the charger is. I respond. “The last time I saw it, it was next to your toothbrush.” He darts down the hall and then yells at me from the bathroom: “Where’s my toothbrush?” I yell back: “On the floor, next to the toilet.” Bingo.

Fast forward twenty minutes.

SOUND: [RC CAR REPAIR]

I’ve now learned Morse code and have deciphered that seven and a half blinking red lights followed by a solid red light, full-stop, indicate the car’s fully charged. But it’s still not working.

It could be the batteries in the remote, I decide, so take out a battery tester and a floral hammer with a Philips head and a flathead screwdriver hidden in the handle. I don’t need the hammer right now, but I might if frustration gets the best of me, so I keep it handy.

Back to the car. Well, I’m back to the car. This is taking so long that my son’s forgotten he even had a remote control car, which makes me all the more determined to get it working. This was the toy that was supposed to make his dreams come true, so it’s gonna get played with, by golly!

SOUND: [RC CAR]

I spend the next fifteen minutes removing itty bitty baby screws, testing batteries, searching YouTube for troubleshooting advice, and groaning internally. Then I let my husband deal with it.

Of course, a working car can be more trouble than a broken one. For instance, a working car might work itself right up into the neighbor girl’s hair. If this particular incident comes to pass in your house one day, and the girl comes to you with the car dangling off of her head like an earring, take it from me, and consider the car a lost cause. You see, we learned long ago that you can take a car out of a girl’s hair, but you can’t take a girl’s hair out of a car. Nope. Wheel and axle all locked up, the thing will only spin in circles from that point on. Kind of like my brain when I’m attempting to deal with first-world frustrations such as these.

SOUND: [Typing password]

Perhaps my next commentary will be about the torture of typing in a streaming password with your TV remote, scrolling to select one. letter. at. a. time. and then realizing that isn’t the correct password.

But first, to the trash can with yet another new toy, and yet another burnt dinner. Whoops.

SOUND: [Dumping car in trash]

I’m Whitney Williams.

WORLD Radio transcripts are created on a rush deadline. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of WORLD Radio programming is the audio record.