Two thrillers, one creepy and one cringey

NICK EICHER, HOST: Today is Friday, June 7th. Thank you for turning to WORLD Radio to help start your day. Good morning. I’m Nick Eicher.

MYRNA BROWN, HOST: And I’m Myrna Brown.

Coming next on The World and Everything in It: Here’s arts and culture editor Collin Garbarino.

COLLIN GARBARINO: This weekend Ishana Night Shyamalan, daughter of famed filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan, makes her directorial debut with a movie that feels very much like it’s part of the family business.

MINA: I don’t understand. Is someone coming here?

MADELINE: We call them the Watchers.

The Watchers is a suspenseful thriller about a small group of people trapped in a mysterious forest in which evil beings come to watch them at night. The movie is very Shyamalan-esque: beautiful, yet brooding with plenty of closeups and a setup that leaves the audience guessing about what’s going on.

MADELINE: It’s important to remember that we are in their territory. The Watchers allow us to live because we follow their rules.

The Watchers is rated PG-13. There’s no sensual material, and the language is pretty mild for a PG-13 movie, but the movie is pretty scary. Fans of M. Night Shyamalan’s movies will enjoy The Watchers. I think Ishana’s debut ranks up there with the best of her father’s films.

Now let's talk about something I was less pleased with.

MUSIC: [ACOLYTE Intro]

It’s no secret that the Star Wars franchise is experiencing malaise. Recent Star Wars shows on Disney+ have garnered mixed reviews from critics and elicited disapproval from many fans. The latest series in the franchise, The Acolyte, doubles down on Disney’s recent missteps, and the die-hard fans will absolutely hate it.

MAE: We have unfinished business. Attack me with all your strength.

The Acolyte is set 100 years before the events of George Lucas’ prequel trilogy in which Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader. This makes the show chronologically the earliest on-screen depiction of the Star Wars universe. Viewers get their first glimpse of the Republic at its height when the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy.

Besides exploring some uncharted territory on the timeline, The Acolyte attempts to introduce a new genre to the franchise. The Mandalorian brought the feel of a dusty western to a galaxy far, far away, and Andor featured interstellar espionage. The Acolyte bills itself as a mystery thriller, in which the Jedi act as galactic policemen investigating a string of murders.

JECKI: The suspect matched your description.

OSHA: You think that I killed her?

JECKI: Where were you last night?

The story follows twin force users Osha and Mae who were separated as children. Osha took the path of the light side, hoping to become a Jedi Knight. Mae followed the dark side, becoming a force-wielding assassin. After Osha is accused of Mae’s crimes, Osha’s old Jedi master must investigate the murders to clear his former apprentice’s name.

VERNESTRA RWOH: We have a suspect in custody. An old padawan of yours… Osha Aniseya.

The production values for The Acolyte are strong. The sets and special effects are top notch, and the action sequences provide plenty of thrills. The series includes Carrie-Anne Moss playing a Jedi version of her Trinity character from The Matrix. And lightsaber battles become intricately choreographed kung fu. But the new setting and splashy visuals aren’t enough to save this cringe-inducing story.

OSHA: You’re making a mistake.

Disney only gave reviewers access to the first half of the series, which runs through July 16, but from what I’ve seen, I don’t hold out much hope for the second half. Turning Star Wars into a murder mystery with Jedi detectives intrigued me, but halfway through the first episode, I knew the series wouldn’t live up to its promise. There’s no mystery or suspense for the audience, and the showrunner fails to create a successful police procedural.

The investigation makes no sense, and the Jedi detectives are incredibly stupid. They ask all the wrong questions and dismiss the most obvious clues. The plot is full of holes. Even worse is the terrible dialogue that’s laden with boring exposition and platitudes, which the actors deliver with wooden pretentiousness.

VERNESTRA RWOH: I see I have underestimated your attachment to her.

If those deficiencies weren’t enough to condemn The Acolyte in the eyes of the die-hard fans, the show’s wokeness will finish the job. The series engages in some heavy queer baiting—the practice of including apparently gay characters while leaving some ambiguity. Viewers are even subjected to a lesbian coven of preachy force witches.

MOTHER ANISEYA: The galaxy is not a place that welcomes women like us.

The showrunner is gay and so is much of the cast. Disney checks all its DEI boxes with this series, and white males are suspiciously underrepresented in this galaxy that would eventually create the very white, very male Empire. The show even includes a scene in which a character awkwardly asks about someone’s pronouns. Could this be why the Republic fell?

YORD FANDAR: I have a bad feeling about this.

I’m Collin Garbarino.

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