The Smurfs are back

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NICK EICHER, HOST: Today is Friday, July 18th.

Thank you for turning to WORLD Radio to help start your day.

Good morning. I’m Nick Eicher.

MYRNA BROWN, HOST: And I’m Myrna Brown.

Coming next on The World and Everything in It: the little blue Smurfs are back on the big screen this weekend. And this film had WORLD’s reviewer coming out of the theater seeing red. Here’s arts and culture editor Collin Garbarino with his verdict on the new Smurfs movie.

COLLIN GARBARINO: Last year PG movies ruled the box office. This year is shaping up similarly with A Minecraft Movie and Lilo & Stitch as the two highest grossing movies so far. But we’ve had plenty of disappointments too. Pixar’s Elio was terribly mediocre and Disney’s Snow White remake was just terrible. And now we have the animated musical Smurfs. I’m sad to say it’s giving Snow White competition for the worst thing I’ve seen this year.

MUSIC: [Everything Goes With Blue]

This is our fourth Smurf movie in 12 years, and none of the previous three were really that great. Pretty forgettable stuff really. This one is a little more memorable, but for all the wrong reasons.

In this film, the main villain is the evil wizard Razamel, younger brother of the Smurfs’ archenemy Gargamel. He’s busy trying to get his hands on a magic book that’s been hiding in Smurf Village for hundreds of years. Meanwhile, Smurfette is helping No Name Smurf figure out what his special role will be in their community. After all, every Smurf needs a job.

KEN: You don’t get a name until you earn it.

While Smurfette and No Name experiment with possible talents that No Name might possess, they accidentally alert Razamel to the secret location of Smurf Village, which leads to Papa Smurf’s abduction.

PAPA SMURF: Everyone, listen to me. Your lives are in terrible danger. Smurf Village isn’t safe anymore.

So of course, the Smurf gang must leave the village and brave new worlds to free Papa and stop Razamel. Along the way they get some help from new furry friends called Snooter poots.

More than anything, this Smurfs movie strikes me as an opportunistic ripoff of the vastly superior Trolls franchise. It’s about magical creatures living in a magical forest. They spend their time singing and dancing. And the group tends to get bossed around by a female character with a big personality.

SMURFETTE: Come on, we gotta rescue Papa!

But while the Trolls movies tend to have catchy songs and clever writing, the filmmakers for Smurfs give us a lackluster soundtrack and lazy writing.

I’ll admit that I actually liked the style of the animation, but the song melodies and lyrics are instantly forgettable. And the storyline doesn’t fare much better than the music. Tracking down Papa requires the Smurfs to visit contemporary Paris, a side trip that serves no point other than allowing the filmmakers to blend live-action footage with computer-generated imagery. I’m not sure why they thought spending five minutes in a Parisian disco would help the story. There they meet Papa Smurf’s brother, “Ken” Smurf. Is this blatant disregard for Surf naming conventions meant to be funny? I found it irritating. Anyway, Ken ominously tells them Papa has been hiding a not-so-terrible secret from his children. And then they’re off to Razamel's castle.

RAZAMEL: We’re going to play a game called Let’s Squish a Smurf Until All You Smurfs Are Squashed!

[SQUEAL]

HEFTY: That doesn’t sound like a fun game.

One minor quibble I have with this film is that the Smurfs are much smaller than the canonical three apples high. A much more serious problem is the voicework. Paramount spent their seemingly small budget on recognizable actors. But most of them are miscast. Pop singer Rihanna, with her smoky, raspy voice, makes for a terrible Smurfette. James Corden plays No Name Smurf, and one would think just having a British accent would be enough to qualify as a Smurf job. John Goodman is a serviceable though uninspiring Papa Smurf. And Nick Offerman as Ken feels like a gimmick.

Also, the film relies heavily on impolite humor, frequently having the characters substitute the word “smurf” for expletives.

[SMURFS SCREAMING]

SMURF: I think I just smurfed my pants.

And the filmmakers rely on clichés rather than craft in creating this film. The movie tries to leave the audience with the typical feel-good messaging you see in the most tired children’s programming. But it unironically offers two conflicting themes. First, we’re told that we can choose our own identity. It doesn’t matter what you were born to be. How progressive. But then we’re told, we each need to find and embrace our innate talent to live a fulfilled life. Which is it? Am I born this way or do I get to choose who I am? Smurfs becomes an unintentional object lesson in the silliness of contemporary pop psychology.

It’s as if the filmmakers think families are too dumb to notice whether a movie is good or bad. No need to put any effort into it. Just give us a recognizable character that tickles our nostalgia and throw in the celebrity of the moment. The money will follow. I sure hope they’re not right.

MUSIC: [Everything Goes With Blue]

I’m Collin Garbarino.

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