Raising independent kids

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MARY REICHARD, HOST: Today is Tuesday, November 4th.

Thank you for turning to WORLD Radio to help start your day.

Good morning. I’m Mary Reichard.

NICK EICHER, HOST: And I’m Nick Eicher.

Coming next on The World and Everything in It: The blessing of work.

For some, it’s a paradigm shift to think of work as a gift. But Christians understand we are created also to be creators: to build and produce things with our hands and minds.

REICHARD: WORLD’s Myrna Brown met a homeschool mom living out that perspective, teaching her children to do the same.

LUCY MATIER: Good Morning. Come on in girl. My grandma always called this a one-butt-kitchen. [laughter] It’s a one-butt-kitchen.

MYRNA BROWN: It may be small, but it’s just right for 39-year old Lucy Matier…

LUCY MATIER: This is Clair…

…and her daughter, Clair. They’re brewing and blending inside this drive-through coffee shop.

MONTAGE: Good Morning guys, how are you today…

But Lucy isn’t just serving coffee at the corner of a busy intersection. The wife and mother is also cultivating a mindset. Lucy grew up thinking her kids needed to be in the best schools.

LUCY MATIER: I don’t look at my kids as children necessarily. I look at them as human beings that I need to be able to turn out into the world someday that are going to be people who contribute in a positive way to society.

That big shift started in 2019. That’s when Lucy and her husband decided to pull their three daughters out of school and teach them at home.

LUCY MATIER: I wanted to figure out what God-given motivations were inside my children and I said listen, we’re going to do a very hands-on approach to learning.

Two to four hours of structured book learning, with the rest of the day devoted to exploring other learning opportunities. She had an idea:

LUCY MATIER: And we came up with a business called Matier Mistletoe.

Her girls found, cut and tied the mistletoe.

LUCY MATIER: And our slogan was bring back the tradition of holiday kissin’

COVID turned that tag line into an unhealthy proposition and that put an end to the mistletoe business. Then, in 2021 another idea.

MYRNA: So what is this made of?

LUCY: It’s a shipping container.

They took this green, steel shed and turned it into a drive-thru coffee shop, built from the ground up.

LUCY MATIER: These blocks that are under here, because we had to raise it eight inches off the ground, they had a hard time getting it up here. And so my girls had to bring these cinderblocks… do you remember that?

CLAIR: I remember how hard it was to put the second one to shove it under there.

But Lucy and Clair say that was actually easy, compared to the grinder pump hole they had to dig for their sewer system.

LUCY MATIER: I thought it was a great opportunity for my girls to learn how hard it is to dig holes.

MYRNA TO CLAIR: How hard was it?

CLAIR: I gave up half way through. [chuckle]

From manual labor to part-time barista, Clair works every Thursday morning.

CUSTOMER: Could I get an iced white chocolate latte with almond milk?

CLAIR: Of course, would you like that to be 16 or 20 ounces?

She’s been taking orders, stamping coffee cups, and washing dishes since she was ten years old.

SOUND: [Coins in tip jar]

Everything in the tips jar goes to Clair. Legally, she’s not old enough to get a paycheck, yet.

LUCY MATIER: It’s actually a rite of passage in our house. When you turn fourteen, one of the gifts you get is a W2 form.

Working alongside her daughters in the coffee shop has challenged Lucy to reconsider some of her long-held beliefs. For instance, she grew up with parents who did their best to pay for everything their kids needed AND wanted. That’s not the way she’s raising Clair and her sisters.

MYRNA: Is it hard to say no?

LUCY MATIER: I do not find it hard to say no. Because I have provided them with opportunities to earn their own money. I told them from a very young age, I’m not going to pay for you to go to college. But I’ll set you up with every opportunity that you need. I am not going to buy a car for you. But I will set you up with every opportunity to earn that vehicle for yourself. We provide food, water and shelter for our children. The rest is up to them to purchase.

MYRNA: Is this too much responsibility too soon? How do you respond to that?

LUCY MATIER: Oh goodness. I tell them, you come back and see me in ten years. I don’t know, honestly and that’s my true answer. You can love them too much. You can love them not enough. You can expect too much. You can expect not enough. I look at them as human beings that I’m responsible for incorporating into society. And them having these experiences, this is life.

And what does Clair think of their uncommon way of life?

CLAIR MATIER: I see it less of they’re trying to neglect me and everything. I see it more of they’re my safety net and the better I get at the tight rope, the less I’m going to need a safety net. So, when I’m out in the real world I’m going to feel comfortable on that tight rope, by myself.

Clair has also gotten to experience the sacrificial aspect of work.

CLAIR MATIER: I absolutely hate the smell of coffee. Like, sometimes, I hold my breath when I’m pouring the coffee.

LUCY MATIER: So even though she doesn’t like the smell of coffee, she very easily can go and get a job at a coffee house because she had that experience.

Experience that is going to prepare Clair for her next big work adventure. The Matiers are relocating to the north. They’re leaving the coffee shop behind. Lucy admits, the news of their departure has given her a new platform to talk about their philosophy on teaching children about the value of work.

LUCY MATIER: God created us to work. From the beginning of human creation, Adam was tasked with working and I think it’s a gift that God gives us.

She says it’s also an opportunity to reflect on how much her girls have grown.

LUCY MATIER: And when I explain to people that it was actually their idea. That they were the ones who came to us when we sat down and had that family meeting at the beginning of the year and said, we’re ready for a change. We want something different.

Clair however, has one request.

CLAIR MATIER: I totally think that when we move up to Pennsylvania and we do another small business, it has nothing to do…. It involves no coffee at all.

Reporting for WORLD, I’m Myrna Brown in Fairhope, Alabama.

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