Rachel Coyle: Letting go at college

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NICK EICHER, HOST: Today is Wednesday, September 24th. Good morning! This is The World and Everything in It from listener-supported WORLD Radio. I’m Nick Eicher.

LINDSAY MAST, HOST: And I’m Lindsay Mast. Up next, letting go at the dorm room door. WORLD associate correspondent Rachel Coyle marks a family milestone—settling in her daughter for freshman year. That move-in day looked a lot different from her own first trip to campus 30 years ago.

AUDIO: “Congratulations you’ve got one coming to college. First one?…”

RACHEL COYLE: Last month, my husband and I dropped our oldest off at college. I couldn’t help thinking back to thirty years ago, when my parents dropped me off.

VHS TOUR: Ok, so here we go…

That’s me in 1995, my first year of college.

VHS TOUR: This is my room guys! This is it. This is what a dorm room looks like…

I borrowed a video camera to make a VHS tour of my college dorm for my family. Our mini-van added 1600 miles to the odometer—one way—on our 24-hour-drive from Florida to Minnesota. If our seatbelts became bothersome we were allowed to unbuckle and relax. My dad had just one rule: wait until he’s cruising at least 55 mph. No DVD player. No iPads. No smartphones. Besides fighting over which cassette tape to listen to, my 3 younger sisters and I had to entertain ourselves the whole 3 days there.

My parents dropped me off at college with a pre-paid calling card, a book of 32-cent stamps, and a papasan chair. Calling collect was for “emergencies only.” School materials consisted of paper, pens, and pencils. I may have had a Discman portable CD player and definitely had a radio. As far as technology goes, that was it.

Today, it’s a lot different.

MONTAGE: If you’re a student juggling classwork…are you an incoming college student looking for what you should take notes with? … I have 5 of my favorite pairs of headphones…today I am finally getting around to showing you…

Besides paper, pens, and pencils, she had to bring her smartphone, laptop, WiFi speaker, ear buds, Bluetooth headphones, and at least 5 different chargers. Our drive was just 8 hours long and I’m only a little embarrassed to admit it involved several hours of movies on our DVD player…and a few games on the iPad and streaming Adventures in Odyssey.

We had it easy compared to 1995. Except everyone had to keep their seatbelts on.

WELCOME WEEK AUDIO: You can go ahead and grab your welcome bag…Welcome!

At the school, a group of college kids full of youthful energy unloaded our van, whisking everything into our daughter’s dorm room.

SIBLINGS: OK, here we go…

Her siblings helped unpack while she directed where to put each item.

ELIANA: You can put that in the kitchenette…

At one point I leafed through some material in her welcome packet and a small card fell out. It was one I hadn’t expected, titled “Active Shooter Preparedness.” It startled me. That was something my parents didn’t have to think about 30 years ago—and I didn’t either. It suddenly felt daunting to leave my daughter in a place that had to have a plan for such kind of danger.

I didn’t anticipate her response to the card, she told me later:

ELIANA FACETIME CALL: I'm used to it, I'm used to hearing about it, I'm used to preparing for it...It doesn’t make me feel unsafe that we have to have it. It makes me feel safe that we do have it.

But the truth is, wherever our kids are, it’s God who keeps them safe. Not us. He doesn’t make mistakes. Even when painful times come and we don’t understand His plan, He’s still good. Fear doesn’t change anything.

As I left my daughter’s dorm room I sent up a prayer for her safety, one I continue to pray for all of my children. As parents, it’s up to us to model what it looks like to keep giving our fears to the Lord and trust in Him no matter the outcome.

ELIANA FACETIME CALL: Hi! How are you? I’m great…

Our college drop-off goodbyes this year weren’t quite as emotional compared to when I went to college. It’s comforting to know we can call, text, audio message, FaceTime, email, use social media, and yet, while technology makes it easier to keep in touch than it used to be, it’s not the same as being together.

WAYNE WATSON: THE CLASS OF 1995

When dropping a son or daughter off at college, military boot camp, a gap year program, or anywhere else, as parents it’s hard to say goodbye. And that will never change, whether it’s 2025 or 1995.

I’m Rachel Coyle.

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