Janie B. Cheaney: Overcoming FOMO

NICK EICHER, HOST: Today is Wednesday, February 5th. Good morning! This is The World and Everything in It from listener-supported WORLD Radio. I’m Nick Eicher.

LINDSAY MAST, HOST: And I’m Lindsay Mast. Ephesians 2:10 says we are God’s workmanship, created to walk in good works that He has appointed for us. WORLD commentator Janie B. Cheaney says when we walk those paths, we need not fear missing out.

JANIE B. CHEANEY: The first time I heard of FOMO, I thought, “Ah, yes. I know that feeling.”

F-O-M-O stands for “fear of missing out,” defined by Merriam-Webster as “fear of not being included in something—such as an interesting or enjoyable activity—that others are experiencing.” The term dates from 2004, coined by author Patrick J. McGinnis in an article published by Harbus, the journal of Harvard Business school. The concept was identified in 1996, defined by Dr. Dan Herman, a PhD. in psychology and a marketing strategist who conducts business seminars on how to use FOMO in supposedly positive ways.

That’s the origin of the term and the concept, but the thing itself probably goes back to the beginning of time. The serpent seemed to leverage the fear of missing out to great effect while tempting Eve.

But here’s another example a bit closer to home: a snapshot from my youth.

During my junior year in high school I was adopted by a group of gal pals, for the first time. Up to then I was shy and insular at school, living mostly in my own head. With these girls I could hang out at Pizza Inn pretending to smoke, harmonize with Dionne Warwick on the radio, laugh at private jokes, and struggle to stay awake during sleepovers. But one sunny afternoon I was leaving my house when a familiar Mercury Cougar sped by and didn’t stop. The four girls inside waved and shouted greetings. They were going somewhere fun without me. I was going somewhere with my mother. The FOMO cut deep, friends.

Decades later I opened a Facebook account when Facebook was still cool. That old feeling came back from time to time when one of my 300 plus friends would post about their anniversary trip to Italy or the authors’ get-together I should have been invited to. Social media, as anyone could have guessed, exacerbates the anxiety for obsessive YouTube, Instagram, or TikTok users. Ironically, the more connected and informed the internet makes us, the more disconnected and uninformed we can feel. And maybe a bit envious too: Why can’t I have some of that great life they’re having?

There’s an antidote to that poison. As caretaker of an Alzheimer’s spouse, my life is pretty boring right now as I miss out on lots of things. The question “What’s new?” gets the same answer most of the time: not much. Help my husband get dressed, empty his catheter, cook breakfast, throw something together for lunch, keep an eye on him while he wanders around the house, track down the things he moved. Same old, same old, waiting for the next step down in the inevitable decline.

But sometimes, while drying him off after a shower, I remember Jesus washing feet. Sometimes, while paying bills and calculating expenses, I think of the eternal inheritance waiting for me. Sometimes, missing family members I can’t get away to visit, Hebrews 5:11 comes to mind. As the NIV puts it, “Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters.”

How can a member of Christ’s family be missing out on anything that matters?

I’m Janie B. Cheaney.

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