Janie B. Cheaney: Mother knew best

NICK EICHER, HOST: Today is Wednesday, April 2nd. Good morning! This is The World and Everything in It from listener-supported WORLD Radio. I’m Nick Eicher.

LINDSAY MAST, HOST: And I’m Lindsay Mast. WORLD commentator Janie B. Cheaney is here now says that when it comes to physical intimacy, God’s design is best. Even unbelievers are coming around to the idea, speaking in characteristically frank terms.

JANIE B. CHEANEY: Suppose, while browsing shelves at the local bookstore, you picked up a book in the Young Adult section titled, A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century. Suppose you flip to the Table of Contents and read such chapter titles as “Sex Must Be Taken Seriously.” “Men and Women Are Different.” “Marriage Is Good,” and finally “Conclusion: Listen to Your Mother.”

A new guide? Sounds like old-fashioned advice from a Christian publisher. But no: the author is Louise Perry, a British journalist, author, and secular feminist.

Perry introduces this thing called The Sexual Revolution to her young readers as though they’d never heard of it. And they probably haven’t. Like a fish who never thinks about water, today’s teens swim in the assumptions of accessible porn and recreational sex. Perry writes, “[T]he most popular story told about this revolution—the one told by liberals and progressives—does not recognize its complexity. It sees the sexual revolution as a story only of progress. I know this because I used to believe it.”

Life experience changed her mind. Now 33, she’s following a traditional path of marriage and motherhood, but for most of her contemporaries, such healthy relationships have become difficult to form. In a podcast interview with Bari Weiss, Perry explained how she’s come to appreciate Christianity, even though she’s not a Christian. When it broke upon a ruthless pagan world 2000 years ago, Christianity offered a radical reinterpretation of sex that proved beneficial for both men and women.

But a curious thing happened on the way to sexual liberation, namely disillusion with sex. After decades of celebrating casual coupling as something the kids are just gonna do, it seems kids are doing it less and less. Fewer than 50% of high school students have ever been on a date, and the term “aromantic” has entered the lexicon as an “identity” for those resistant to romance.

It’s a phenomenon with many causes, such as teens moving their social lives from in-person to online. But the social anxieties of young people are chasing them into maturity. Whereas in previous generations most would be settling into marriage by age 25, the median age now is 32—if they marry at all.

The decline is especially steep among young women who are, in the words of a recent Wall Street Journal article, “Giving Up” on marriage. The widening gender gap in education and income is one big factor. As family researcher Lyman Stone bluntly puts it, “Women do not typically invest in long-term relationships with men who have nothing to contribute economically.” That shrinks the suitable-husband pool—and widens the happiness gap, for numerous studies indicate that good marriages are the strongest indicator of human happiness.

In the Bari Weiss interview, Louise Perry anticipated that love and marriage will eventually come back in style. Love is not a style choice; it’s a foundational principle. Steadfast love and faithfulness created and sustains this world and everything in it. This love revolutionized the pagan world and is fully capable of repairing our post-Christians ruins, if he’s willing. And if his people are willing, too.

I’m Janie B. Cheaney

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