Honor in motion

Editor's note: The following text is a transcript of a podcast story. To listen to the story, click on the arrow beneath the headline above.

LINDSAY MAST, HOST: Today is Wednesday, February 25th. Thank you for turning to WORLD Radio to help start your day.

Good morning. I’m Lindsay Mast.

NICK EICHER, HOST: And I’m Nick Eicher.

Coming next on The World and Everything in It: courage on the dance floor.

A group of teens is learning confidence and courtesy one simple question at a time: “May I have this dance?”

WORLD correspondent Rachel Coyle has the story from Spartanburg, South Carolina.

RACHEL COYLE: John Wilson is coaching young men not to give in to fear.

JOHN: "May I have this dance." Remember those five words if you hear me say, gentlemen, ask the ladies to dance. Politely get a young lady's attention and say those five words…

Tonight, nearly 200 young adults fill a gym in Spartanburg, South Carolina. They range in age from 13 to 22. And they’re all here to learn and practice English Country Dancing. 

The young men must ask a lady to dance and escort her onto the dance floor. John’s wife, Tina, wanders the gym encouraging the newer boys to find a partner.

AUDIO: [You have to dance if you come here.]

Everyone wears jeans, t-shirts, and sneakers to practice. But in a few months, it’ll be dark suits or formal dresses for the Image of Splendor Ball.

It’s not a typical teen dance.

TINA: Dances come from like Pride and Prejudice, Emma, just think Jane Austen, anything Jane Austen.

AUDIO: [Carolina Promenade]

These dances are respectful and coordinated. Right now they’re dancing the Carolina Promenade. John calls out the steps as the dancers follow. 

Standing beside their partners, the dancers form a circle. They skip in unison, turn and skip backwards. This repeats until it’s time for the men to twirl the ladies and switch partners.

Dancers exchange nods and smiles of encouragement. Casual chatter makes it evident that even strangers are learning to be comfortable having fun together.

When the Wilsons first tried English Country Dancing with their 12 children, they didn’t have high hopes.

JOHN: And I said, "well, our boys are pretty shy. They, you know, I don't know that they'll like it." And our friend said, "trust me, they'll like it."

It turns out, the whole family did. With no formal training, the Wilsons decided to start their own group. That was 16 years ago.

TINA: I believe that dancing has been stolen by our culture. And that is so sad to me. It is a beautiful gift that God has given us.

For the Wilsons, it’s not about making money. They don’t. And it’s not just about dancing.

JOHN: One of the things that we do before and after each dance is we tell, we say, "alright, ladies and gentlemen, honor your partner." And honor is a big part of the English country dancing, where I'm trying to help the kids, and remind us that, honoring our Heavenly Father is important, as well as honoring each other.

Honor looks like a bow or curtsey. That teaches the dancers to treat each other with respect and humility.

JOHN: We try to emphasize that we want all the boys to be gentlemen. If you see a young lady who's wishing to dance, be a gentleman, please be a gentleman, and ask them to dance. The gentlemen have the responsibility to make it a fun evening for the ladies.

John reminds the boys of that throughout each practice.

AUDIO: [Sound of John encouraging socializing]

He takes the pressure off by walking the dancers step-by-step through requesting and accepting a dance. He tells them what to do and say, and encourages small talk before each dance.

Still, it doesn’t always feel natural.

TEEN: I definitely have not overcome the awkwardness.

TEEN: It is a little awkward, trying to stand out there, just smiling, waiting for somebody to come up and ask you.

TEEN: Just kind of awkward, having to ask other people that you don't know to dance.

TEEN: It’s been awkward, definitely, a bunch of times. 

Zachary Bentley has been dancing for 10 years. That was before the group grew so large the Wilsons had to set an age limit. Bentley says it still takes courage to ask a new girl to dance.

BENTLEY: No one can do it for you, so you have to be the one to do it. And so if you're not brave enough to do that, then you're not gonna dance with anybody.

The ladies also have plenty to learn. They have to focus on more subtle social cues—things like not standing in a huddle with other girls; that’s intimidating. Don’t look too serious or angry. Make eye contact with a young man, then look away, and he’ll know you’re hoping for a dance partner.

WADE: When a guy comes up to you and asks you to dance, you can kind of like respect him more, like he had the courage to come up and ask you.

The gentlemen are supposed to find a new lady to dance with each time. John tells the ladies to be gracious and accept his invitation. 

Katie Wade remembers how that felt at first.

WADE: I was just really nervous about, you know, dancing with a complete stranger. And over the years, that's really changed.

Wade is 18 now. But she still remembers her biggest challenge. It’s one that most young people relate to.

WADE: I mean, as a teen, all we want to do is fit in. And putting yourself out there is not in the comfort zone. So I guess getting out of that comfort zone would be the hardest part.

Tina says for some boys, that means just getting to the gym to try it out.

TINA: So we’ve had so many parents come to us, and they brought their son, kicking and screaming, not wanting to come to any kind of dance thing. And then once they came one time, they're like, "Oh, I really love that. I want to go back. Please let me go back again."

Many do come back. For every 60 girls, there are about 40 boys. The girls have permission to dance together, but not the boys. They have to ask a girl to dance. 

Chances are, if they do, they’ll share in the fun and laughter of the dancers here tonight. It just requires the courage to say five words:

AUDIO: [Boy] May I have this dance? [Girl] Yes, thank you! 

Reporting for WORLD, I’m Rachel Coyle in Spartanburg, South Carolina.

WORLD Radio transcripts are created on a rush deadline. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of WORLD Radio programming is the audio record.