Holding on to hurts

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NICK EICHER, HOST: Good morning! This is The World and Everything in It from listener-supported WORLD Radio. I’m Nick Eicher.

LINDSAY MAST, HOST: And I’m Lindsay Mast.

Sometimes obstacles to our faith come not from the circumstances we face in the present, but from problems in our past. WORLD’s Janie B. Cheaney says answering an important question may help overcome them.

JANIE B. CHEANEY: I’ve been struggling with a friend who doubts she is truly saved. I suspect psychological and emotional reasons as well as spiritual. She was brought up in what we might today call straightened circumstances: not much money, with a distant father and a mother who had to work overtime to make ends meet. In adolescence she had some fun but little joy, and her marriage was an escape rather than an adventure. Along the way she developed a self-image so poor it’s all she can see. She holds her distrust of self so tight, she can’t trust God. Why can’t she let go of it and take hold of Him? Doesn’t she want to be healed?

Long ago I had another friend who was addicted to therapy. She hinted at abuse in her family and I never had reason to doubt that. But as the years passed I started wondering if the parade of counselors and their self-care recommendations was helping or hurting. After she had alienated her husband and children, I had my answer. In our last communication, by carefully written letter, I suggested she might need to grow up. Not the most tactful advice, and she didn’t reply. If I had it to do over again, I might have asked, “Do you want to be healed?

At my former church, which met downtown, I helped cook and serve midweek meals for the local community. Many if not most of these individuals were homeless, and three of them attended our church for a while. Our pastor and other church members found jobs for these men, invited them into their homes for meals, and helped with medical care. But within a few months, all three disappeared, and we never saw them again. The pastor was mystified. Why was life on the street preferable to a warm home and three meals a day? Did they even want to be healed?

You remember the story of Jesus finding the lame man near Bethesda pool and asking a question He asked no one else: Do you want to be healed? It’s an odd question, under the circumstances, but the reply is even more so: Neither yes nor no, but an excuse.

To me this seemed like self-pity; almost whining. But in last Sunday’s sermon, one of our elders framed the lame man’s excuse as misplaced hope. Jesus was right in front of him; the man might even have had to crane his neck to focus on the pool, the source of imaginary healing. If I could just get there, all my problems would be solved.

Humanity hasn’t changed much in 2,000 years. If I could start feeling good about myself or my past or my prospects, if I could clean off my desk or clean up the house or clean up my husband or wife or kids, I would be healed.

But it’s right there in the mess that Jesus meets us and asks his question. The answer seems obvious, but it isn’t. How long did you or I hold on to our prescriptions or ambitions or expectations before we finally saw Him?

Do you see him now?

For WORLD, I’m Janie B. Cheaney.

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