Grandparenting

MARY REICHARD, HOST: Today is Wednesday, January 4th. Thank you for turning to WORLD Radio to help start your day.

Good morning. I’m Mary Reichard.

NICK EICHER, HOST: And I’m Nick Eicher. Coming next on The World and Everything in It: grand-parenthood.

More than 80 percent of adults eventually become grandparents, but some find it hard to build meaningful connections with their grandchildren.

Maybe they’re too busy, maybe too far away, maybe they lack shared interests. Or maybe they had no relationship with their own grandparents to serve as a model.

REICHARD: WORLD Senior Writer Kim Henderson recently met some children whose grandparents don’t let barriers get in the way.

CHILDREN: I made this Lego. And it's a car that can actually move. I made this one. Something fell off. Jackson, this came up from yours . . .

KIM HENDERSON, SENIOR WRITER: For the Misner grandkids, nothing beats an afternoon with Daddy D and Jenn Jenn.

And a huge tub of Legos.

CHILDREN: We built all of this. [KH: what is all that?] Baby Yoda . . .

That was Baby Yoda, in case you couldn’t understand the 2-year-old. Other completed Lego projects sit on a desk. On bookshelves.

CHILDREN: Um, Venom Spider Man Lego.

And over in a corner.

CHILDREN: It's our Jurassic World boat.

CHILDREN: My favorite Lego is our Star Wars. Yeah, I love the Star Wars.

Their grandfather, David Misner, has a ready explanation for why playing with Legos is a worthwhile activity.

DAVID: It's great to help them with their dexterity, their fingers. And their reading skills. They're able to pay attention and follow directions. And just creating, creating something.

But did he play Legos with his own three kids? Back when he was a young dad?

DAVID: No, I took this up just for the kids.

These kids. His grandkids. The Misners have seven. Four are here today. And the fun doesn’t stop with Legos.

I ask 9-year-old Abbie what she likes to do with her grandparents.

ABBIE: Hiking and swimming.

That’s because the Misners are active themselves. They’re really fit, and they love the outdoors.

ABBIE: Usually we go to Red Mountain, but there's a place that I really want to go that we haven't been in a while, and we call it the Choo Choo Train . . .

Abbie may not realize exactly what her grandparents are up to. That they are purposefully building their relationship with her. And she probably doesn’t think much about what it took for that to happen. That the Misners moved 250 miles to be near her and their other grands.

David explains.

DAVID: We were blessed in that they wanted us to come. And Jenn and I felt that at this time in our lives, you know, we still had a lot of life to live, Lord willing, and we wanted it to count.

The Misners want to be a spiritual influence in their grandchildren’s lives.

DAVID: The pressure on the children seems to be so much greater. There's so many ways for evil to get to the children. So we just wanted to, you know, we wanted to help our children raise their children. Just provide whatever help we could.

Larry Fowler is what you might call a grandparenting expert. He heads up the Legacy Coalition, a ministry dedicated to intentional, Christ-like grandparenting. He says relationship building like the Misners are doing is imperative if grandparents want to be involved in the teen years.

MARY REICHARD, HOST: Today is Wednesday, January 4th. Thank you for turning to WORLD Radio to help start your day.

Good morning. I’m Mary Reichard.

NICK EICHER, HOST: And I’m Nick Eicher. Coming next on The World and Everything in It: grand-parenthood.

More than 80 percent of adults eventually become grandparents, but some find it hard to build meaningful connections with their grandchildren.

Maybe they’re too busy, maybe too far away, maybe they lack shared interests. Or maybe they had no relationship with their own grandparents to serve as a model.

REICHARD: WORLD Senior Writer Kim Henderson recently met some children whose grandparents don’t let barriers get in the way.

CHILDREN: I made this Lego. And it's a car that can actually move. I made this one. Something fell off. Jackson, this came up from yours . . .

KIM HENDERSON, SENIOR WRITER: For the Misner grandkids, nothing beats an afternoon with Daddy D and Jenn Jenn.

And a huge tub of Legos.

CHILDREN: We built all of this. [KH: what is all that?] Baby Yoda . . .

That was Baby Yoda, in case you couldn’t understand the 2-year-old. Other completed Lego projects sit on a desk. On bookshelves.

CHILDREN: Um, Venom Spider Man Lego.

And over in a corner.

CHILDREN: It's our Jurassic World boat.

CHILDREN: My favorite Lego is our Star Wars. Yeah, I love the Star Wars.

Their grandfather, David Misner, has a ready explanation for why playing with Legos is a worthwhile activity.

DAVID: It's great to help them with their dexterity, their fingers. And their reading skills. They're able to pay attention and follow directions. And just creating, creating something.

But did he play Legos with his own three kids? Back when he was a young dad?

DAVID: No, I took this up just for the kids.

These kids. His grandkids. The Misners have seven. Four are here today. And the fun doesn’t stop with Legos.

I ask 9-year-old Abbie what she likes to do with her grandparents.

ABBIE: Hiking and swimming.

That’s because the Misners are active themselves. They’re really fit, and they love the outdoors.

ABBIE: Usually we go to Red Mountain, but there's a place that I really want to go that we haven't been in a while, and we call it the Choo Choo Train . . .

Abbie may not realize exactly what her grandparents are up to. That they are purposefully building their relationship with her. And she probably doesn’t think much about what it took for that to happen. That the Misners moved 250 miles to be near her and their other grands.

David explains.

DAVID: We were blessed in that they wanted us to come. And Jenn and I felt that at this time in our lives, you know, we still had a lot of life to live, Lord willing, and we wanted it to count.

The Misners want to be a spiritual influence in their grandchildren’s lives.

DAVID: The pressure on the children seems to be so much greater. There's so many ways for evil to get to the children. So we just wanted to, you know, we wanted to help our children raise their children. Just provide whatever help we could.

Larry Fowler is what you might call a grandparenting expert. He heads up the Legacy Coalition, a ministry dedicated to intentional, Christ-like grandparenting. He says relationship building like the Misners are doing is imperative if grandparents want to be involved in the teen years.

Larry Fowler Photo by Kim Henderson

Larry Fowler Photo by Kim Henderson

FOWLER: I've been through those years, where all of a sudden talking to Grandma and Grandpa wasn't a priority. Their friends were . . .

That’s why Fowler says grandparents really need to lean into the young years.

FOWLER: If you lean in well and have a real strong relationship, it'll begin to go down some, of course, but you will still be able to speak into their lives in a real special way . . . when they are teenagers and facing some really tough things, you'll be able to be a voice into their lives.

And Fowler has some specific advice for grandparents of teenagers. Communicate with them in a way that fits the times.

FOWLER: Don't expect your teenage grandkids to enter Grandma world. They're not going to do it. So you have to enter their world. That means using their method of choice for communication, and of course, that's probably texting. That's a real important thing for grandparents to remember.

Fowler points to a time when he and his wife lived states away from their 17-year-old grandson. They took this grandson out for coffee.

FOWLER: The very first thing that he said was, “Grandpa and Grandma, I've got a girlfriend,” and he would have never volunteered that in a family setting.

The Fowlers describe this purposeful one-on-one time as “dating” their grandchildren.

FOWLER: So whether they live at a distance, and you do it when you go to visit them, or whether they live close and you do it on a regular basis, that's, that's really important.

Back at the Misners’ place, a two-layer approach is unfolding. Fun candy, combined with Scripture memorization.

JENNIFER: So you know, the motivation is if you learn the Bible verse, you get the M&Ms . . . (laughing) I think we’re stretching the rules . . .

But Abbie has her verse down.

ABBIE: For God so loved the world, He gave His one and only son. And all that believe in Him shall not perish, but shall have eternal life. John 3:16.

Reporting for WORLD, I’m Kim Henderson in Birmingham, Alabama.

EICHER: To read the feature story on intentional grandparenting, look for the January 14th issue of WORLD Magazine and we’ll post a link to the story in today’s transcript.

FOWLER: I've been through those years, where all of a sudden talking to Grandma and Grandpa wasn't a priority. Their friends were . . .

That’s why Fowler says grandparents really need to lean into the young years.

FOWLER: If you lean in well and have a real strong relationship, it'll begin to go down some, of course, but you will still be able to speak into their lives in a real special way . . . when they are teenagers and facing some really tough things, you'll be able to be a voice into their lives.

And Fowler has some specific advice for grandparents of teenagers. Communicate with them in a way that fits the times.

FOWLER: Don't expect your teenage grandkids to enter Grandma world. They're not going to do it. So you have to enter their world. That means using their method of choice for communication, and of course, that's probably texting. That's a real important thing for grandparents to remember.

Fowler points to a time when he and his wife lived states away from their 17-year-old grandson. They took this grandson out for coffee.

FOWLER: The very first thing that he said was, “Grandpa and Grandma, I've got a girlfriend,” and he would have never volunteered that in a family setting.

The Fowlers describe this purposeful one-on-one time as “dating” their grandchildren.

FOWLER: So whether they live at a distance, and you do it when you go to visit them, or whether they live close and you do it on a regular basis, that's, that's really important.

Back at the Misners’ place, a two-layer approach is unfolding. Fun candy, combined with Scripture memorization.

JENNIFER: So you know, the motivation is if you learn the Bible verse, you get the M&Ms . . . (laughing) I think we’re stretching the rules . . .

But Abbie has her verse down.

ABBIE: For God so loved the world, He gave His one and only son. And all that believe in Him shall not perish, but shall have eternal life. John 3:16.

Reporting for WORLD, I’m Kim Henderson in Birmingham, Alabama.

EICHER: To read the feature story on intentional grandparenting, look for the January 14th issue of WORLD Magazine and we’ll post a link to the story in today’s transcript.

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