Friends in a dark forest

NICK EICHER, HOST: Today is Tuesday, May 9th. Thank you for turning to WORLD Radio to help start your day.

Good morning. I’m Nick Eicher.

MARY REICHARD, HOST: And I’m Mary Reichard.

Coming next on The World and Everything in It: supporting foster families.

If you’ve been listening to WORLD’s Effective Compassion podcast, then you know that this week emphasizes caring for kids in crisis by way of foster care.

EICHER: Foster families are on the front lines of that work. But sometimes, it’s a lonely path. WORLD Correspondent Bonnie Pritchett talked with foster families and the people who come alongside to help care for kids from hard places.

AMANDA STOFFELS: Okay, well. Let's, why don't you go ride bikes in the front? Yes, everybody outside in the front yard riding bikes.

KIDS: Yay!

BONNIE PRITCHETT, REPORTER: That’s one way to keep half a dozen siblings occupied.

Three of the bikers are Amanda and Dewey Stoffels’ biological kids. The three others are their foster children. Over 15 years the Stoffels have welcomed 25 foster children into their North Texas home, life, and often hectic daily routine.

Dewey gives a brief run-down.

DEWEY STOFFELS: You hear Amanda talking about going to the farm every day, and we've got the sheep. And we've got the kids, and then we got athletics, and then we've got you know, archery and we've got Taekwondo and and all of these different activities.

With help from Amanda’s parents’ shuttling kids and babysitting, the Stoffels can usually keep up. But sometimes their kids need more than a ride home from track practice.

AMANDA STOFFELS: Like next month, I have things for my Samantha that I have to be at. But we don't have school because schools shut down for spring break. And so I can't be in five different places and I can't bring all these kids and the people who can watch the foster kids are very limited because of all of the regulations.

Parents can only leave their foster children with state-certified caregivers. The Stoffels needed a respite provider.

AMANDA: Respite is where you are a certified foster family. But you So, you could be fostering, but you keep your home open for those families that need a foster family to watch the kids overnight for over 48 hours. Anything up to 48 hours is babysitting.

With regulations limiting who can help, some foster parents can feel trapped in their commitment. That’s what happened to Nick and Amanda Boyd. They’re foster parents near Houston. Their first placement – three young siblings – challenged their will, marriage, even their faith.

Amanda recalled her darkest moment.

AMANDA BOYD: The best way for me to describe it is I was in the middle of a dark forest. And there were trees all around me, and I was on my knees. And I saw no way out.

It took two years, but the Boyds finally made their way out of that dark place. They learned ways to raise kids who have come from hard backgrounds. The Boyds wound up adopting those three kids and four more.

Amanda drew from those experiences and founded Sanctuary, a foster and adoption care agency in Houston. Its mission is to help parents persevere when they feel like quitting.

BOYD: Because what foster families need is they need hope. They need support, and they need someone coming along beside them that says, “I'm here with you. Just lean on me. And I'm going to show you the way out.”

In addition to material support provided by volunteers, Sanctuary offers free office and in-home counseling, including 24/7 in-person crisis intervention.

BOYD: We've been to homes we've been to skating rinks we've been to the side of the road. We've been to McDonald's. We go wherever that they're having issues with kiddo.

Most agencies don’t provide that level of mental health care. And state support might not fully cover the need.

That’s where a different couple discovered a niche ministry opportunity. Here’s Vanessa Evermon.

VANESSA EVERMON: There's not a lot of organizations that offer financial assistance for counseling scholarships.

Vanessa and her husband Jeremy are volunteer directors of Greater Grace Ministries near Houston.

VANESSA EVERMON: And you may find a counselor that, that is really suitable for your child's needs. But they don't take your insurance.

Greater Grace offers families partial scholarships to help cover the cost. Families pay a portion as a buy-in.

The ministry also hosts an annual parents’ retreat with workshops, lectures and a welcome therapeutic side benefit. Jeremy Evermon explains.

JEREMY EVERMON: But when you can find people that are going through similar experiences as you are as a parent, then you definitely bond from that, but also feel encouraged by that.

Parents can expect family struggles when caring for children who have endured hardships. Shoring up their support before fostering or adopting is vital.

Toni Steere leads Legacy 685. It’s an adoption and foster care ministry of Houston’s First.

TONI STEERE Look around at your community, at the people who you can invite into the journey with you.

And we're asking you to join us, would you pray for us? Would you license alongside us as respite care providers? Would you get babysitter certified with our agency so that we have more than enough babysitters. You're inviting them into that process, even as you don't know what you're asking for.

Ashley and Dave Pflug had two biological daughters when they felt called to foster. They partnered with the faith-based agency 1 Hope in San Antonio.

ASHLEY PFLUG: We don’t have any family nearby. But, you know, our church body has become our family. And, um, our agency has really filled in a huge gap. When they come to visit, they are in prayer with us. And they offer in home tutoring, they coordinate volunteers to help the kids with academics.

Friends of the Pflugs invited themselves into the process. Two people from their church small group became state-certified babysitters.

PFLUG: They came around us. And it was right when we started this, they said we want to be on this journey with you. And here's how we can help.

Not everyone is called to foster or adopt. But Toni Steere of Legacy 685 believes every Christian can help those who are.

STEERE: Okay, if not everybody can do everything, but everybody should do something. Then what's my something? Everybody's got something they can give. And every church has a group of somebodies that can bring their somethings to the altar as a gift to those who most need it.

Reporting for WORLD, I’m Bonnie Pritchett in Houston, Texas.

REICHARD: This was a companion piece to the full episode of Effective Compassion from WORLD Radio. You can find it today in the Effective Compassion podcast feed.

That’s available wherever you get your podcasts. Just search for “Effective Compassion,” or check out today’s transcript. We’ll supply a link.

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