Can we talk?

MYRNA BROWN, HOST: Coming up next on The World and Everything in It: talking politics in everyday life.

President Ronald Reagan once said all great change in America happens at the dinner table.

But after this latest election, conversation could be sensitive. After all, the truth matters, but so do relationships. So how to keep the right priorities when emotions run high?

MARY REICHARD, HOST: Today, a story about how some Americans are “setting the table” for conversations about politics.

Washington Bureau reporter Carolina Lumetta visited a red-blue workshop in Philadelphia with this report on how it’s being done.

CAROLINA LUMETTA: Talking about politics with people who have different viewpoints can be challenging. And getting family members to overcome political differences can feel insurmountable.

JERRY: Heather felt strongly enough about the way she felt, and it was different than mine, that we probably had difficulties talking about it, okay?

10 years ago, Jerry Blakeslee and his daughter Heather had a problem. After slammed doors and raised voices, they weren’t on speaking terms. Heather wrote her father a note that she would not come home anymore. They found themselves on opposing political sides until they went back to square one.

HEATHER: I just felt really strongly that we had to start at the kitchen table.

JERRY: And so it worked. We talked to each other.

Earlier this month, Jerry Blakeslee joined 15 other people for moderated conversations about politics in Philadelphia. Heather, now the editor at a local culture magazine (Root Quarterly), invited the Southeast Pennsylvania Alliance of Braver Angels to host one of their red-blue workshops. The nationwide nonprofit says it’s on a mission to depolarize America through civil debates, community events, and workshops.

BAKER: If I'm not a founder, I am the next best thing.

Hunter Baker writes for WORLD Opinions. He’s also on the board of Braver Angels. He says the vision is to engage in accurate disagreement.

BAKER: …it's easy to disagree with each other and then to caricature what the other person believes, right, and to turn it into the most unattractive option possible. But if you're really practicing virtue, then what you can do is you can state the other person's position in terms that they themselves would accept.

The first exercise at the Philadelphia workshop was to identify stereotypes. The red team met in a room and filled out a poster board with what they thought the blue team thought of them.

MODERATOR: So what are some stereotypes that you think Blues will label us with?

FEMALE PARTICIPANT: Racist, misogynist, patriarchal.

MODERATOR: Woo! Okay, we're knocking it out here.

MALE PARTICIPANT: That was on top of my list too.

The poster board had three categories: What is false or misleading about the stereotype, what is true instead, and what is the kernel of truth in the assumption.

MODERATOR: What's false, misleading, or exaggerated about the fact that all conservatives are intolerant?

PARTICIPANT: I would say specifically about racial, that I believe we are the last bastions for actually judging people by their content of the character, not the color of their skin…frankly I think we're the true anti-racists.

Organizers told me that the people who come to these workshops are typically more moderate in their political views. Or they have reached enough of a family breakdown that they’re willing to hold their politics more loosely. Participants on both teams said they wanted to get out of the echo chambers that keep them from understanding the other side.

When the teams came back together to present their stereotype responses, the blue team brought up abortion.

SPOKESMAN: The last one was that Democrats are baby killers, right? What is exaggerated and misleading is that we don't value life. And that we do, right? What is true instead is that our priority is respecting the personal choice.

After each exercise, Republicans and Democrats paired up to discuss what they learned about each other. Craig Tavani, on the red team, found common ground with the blue team even though he disagrees with many of their policy priorities.

TAVANI: I still identify as Republican and yet I could see some of the thinking, some of the feelings on the other side. I said, "Yeah, I agree with that."

Tavani’s blue team partner, Eric Hamell, said the same.

HAMELL: from what I heard today there is a lot of receptivity and willingness to understand where I'm coming from and where other left -leaning people are coming from…So I mean, in that sense, it’s encouraging.

After the workshop, many participants were sharing contact information to keep in touch. Hunter Baker sees a need for conversations like these.

BAKER: As Americans, we have to govern ourselves. We are not governed by a dictator or a monarch. And if we're going to govern ourselves, then that means we also have to moderate our worst impulses. We have to be able to reason together.

For the Blakeslees, Jerry’s participation came after years of learning to talk with his daughter. Heather said she has also learned how to respect her father’s views even if she doesn’t hold them. I sat with both of them on a church bench outside after the workshop.

JERRY: we just decided to maybe not talk about it for a while and then we decided to listen a little bit better.

HEATHER: Yeah. And also to not assume that we were avatars for the entire other side or the other party, that we had individual thoughts about things that maybe sometimes lined up and sometimes didn't, you know, with our party.

Jerry and Heather didn’t vote the same way this year. He is excited about the incoming Trump administration, and she is concerned. But they’re no longer trying to change each other’s minds.

JERRY: You realized that the relationship and father-daughter relationship is much more important than any politics.

Reporting for WORLD, I’m Carolina Lumetta in Philadelphia.

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