A place for every family

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LINDSAY MAST, HOST: Today is Wednesday, October 8th.

Thank you for turning to WORLD Radio to help start your day.

Good morning. I’m Lindsay Mast.

NICK EICHER, HOST: And I’m Nick Eicher.

Coming next on The World and Everything in It: caring for caregivers.

Raising a child with an intellectual disability can be all-consuming. Caregivers often feel like they don’t have a moment to themselves.

MAST: But when someone sees that need and steps in to give a weary parent a night out? Wow, is that a blessing!

WORLD Senior Writer Kim Henderson has the story.

KIM HENDERSON: Kemp Patterson has a 9-year-old son named Evan.

PATTERSON: He was diagnosed with autism at 36 months. He's still nonverbal. He's not potty trained. He's a great kid. He's a loving kid.

Patterson is a single dad.

PATTERSON: I get up with him in the morning. I get him ready for school, get him on the bus, and I go to work.

After school, a sitter keeps Evan until Patterson returns. Then the dad and son hit the backyard.

PATTERSON: He loves to jump on the trampoline, likes to play in the pool or a sandbox. Then we have supper, and it's bath time and a little bit of free time, and then he goes to bed.

Bedtime can be really hard. Evan has abnormal sleep patterns.

PATTERSON: Some nights it takes him hours to go to sleep. Some nights he goes right to sleep. And then there are other nights he'll get up at one, two o'clock in the morning, and he's ready to go for the day.

That can wear on a parent. But tonight, Patterson is getting a break.

SOUND: [Sound of basketballs bouncing]

He’s dropping Evan off at a Parents Night Out event. It’s for families of those affected by intellectual disabilities—autism, Down Syndrome, traumatic brain injuries. Evan can’t wait.

PATTERSON: I think he just loves being with all the kids. He has a buddy that stays with him the entire time…

An assigned volunteer buddy. Just for him. And while Evan enjoys activities designed for individuals with intellectual disabilities, Patterson will be joining his sister for dinner.

Evan Patterson, left, sitting with volunteer Macy Segrest at Pear Orchard Presbyterian Church. Photo courtesy of Daphne Clark

PATTERSON: I think we're going to go to the Sunset Bar and Grill out on the reservoir.

For two and half hours, volunteers at Pear Orchard Presbyterian Church open their gym to take care of anyone ages 1-70 with intellectual disabilities. And boy, are their caregivers grateful.

CLARK: They may go home and take a nap. They may go to the grocery store without having to deal with, is my child going to bolt this way and I need to go get frozen broccoli, you know, over here?

That’s Daphne Clark. She heads up the event.

DAPHNE: So this side is more games and puzzles and tossing things and bingo. Basketballs are over there. They'll get name tags. If they have an allergy or something like that, you'll see it in red, so that the buddy will know.

Clark says one of her biggest challenges in organizing Parents Night Out is getting volunteers. They need lots of them.

CLARK: You can't invite your community to come if you don't have the support. We're creating a culture of service, a culture of welcome, of friendship, of compassion, of seeing people, it just takes a while to build that.

Tonight, volunteers have filled the bleachers. This 11-year-old can’t wait to be someone’s assigned buddy.

KID: Whatever he needs me to do, I'm gonna do for him, and I'm not gonna leave him. If he wants to play a game, I'll help him. If he wants to color a picture, I'm gonna help him color a picture.

Volunteers have to be ready for anything. Kids with medical devices. Kids who can’t stay still. Kids who can’t talk.

Nathanael Kwasny is a college student who has volunteered with this ministry for more than a decade.

NATHANAEL: I'm never happier than when I'm here. This is the happiest place for me.

I asked him why he’s chosen this way of serving.

NATHANAEL: The story of a lot of families that have been touched by disabilities is that they're rejected by the Church, and they get sent out from these churches because their kids are too noisy, or things like that, and there's a lot of church hurt.

That’s why Parents Night Out is open to the whole community.

Volunteers and participants pause for a photo at the Pear Orchard Presbyterian Church Parents Night Out. Photo courtesy of Daphne Clark

A long line has formed by the time participants sign in.

PARTICIPANT: My name is J-E-R-R-Y . . .

It’s a happy reunion-like scene.

But Daphne Clark points out another challenge. It’s not always easy for parents to leave their children.

CLARK: You're wondering, are they going to know how to care for my child? Will they know what to do if my child has a seizure or something? So we do have medical staff here to take care of all that.

Kemp Patterson has no qualms about leaving Evan.

KEMP: This program is just amazing. I can't believe what I walked into two years ago. I mean this, this is phenomenal. You see all the people here?

Patterson says he eventually became a member of this church because they have a special program for Evan on Sunday mornings.

KEMP: Before that I couldn't really sit through a service with him.

And that’s what often happens with caregivers, according to Pear Orchard Presbyterian’s pastor, Caleb Cangelosi.

CANGELOSI: They realize, like, Oh, here's a church that's going to let me bring my child to worship—whether they're loud, whether they're disruptive.

Or want to hide because of sensory overload. Or have a feeding tube. Or flap their hands uncontrollably.

The church has become known for its outreach to individuals with special needs. This summer they had 30 kids with special needs at their total-inclusion VBS.

Evan Patterson was one of them.

His father Kemp says activities like that make his role as a parent and caregiver easier. And now he’s ready to get back to his routine with his son.

KEMP: Having Evan has been one of the greatest joys of my life.

Reporting for WORLD, I’m Kim Henderson in Ridgeland, Mississippi.

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