A journey of forgiveness

NICK EICHER, HOST: Today is Tuesday, January 28th.

Thank you for turning to WORLD Radio to help start your day.

Good morning. I’m Nick Eicher.

MARY REICHARD, HOST: And I’m Mary Reichard.

Coming next on The World and Everything in It: Forgiveness and healing. Is it possible to experience one without embracing the other? WORLD’s Myrna Brown brings us the story that wrestles with that question.

AUDIO: [Vacuuming ends] Do you see any spider webs up on the top that I need to get from up here

MYRNA BROWN REPORTING: 48-year-old Arcelia Miller…

AUDIO: [Turning off the water faucet] Ok you didn’t get down did you?

…and 71-year-old Velma Franco are in deep-clean mode.

ARCELIA MILLER: So we’ve got six rooms and we’ve got a huge kitchen and the living room area and the dining room area and the front room…four bathrooms and then also the utility room. And then there’s a storage room.

Between the two of them, they’ll have every room in this house spic and span before lunch.

VELMA: Kind of seems like we read each other’s minds on what to do and stuff because it’s not the first time we’ve worked together.

AUDIO: [Sound of sweeping]

But today isn’t just about sweeping up floors…

AUDIO: [Wiping patio table]

…or wiping down dirty tables.

ARCELIA MILLER: It’s also preparing our hearts and just praying over the home as we know that the girls are being courageous to come here this week.

The house Miller and Franco are cleaning is a Christian residential home for girls dealing with trauma—things like abandonment and abuse. Miller and Franco are preparing for a new group of teenage girls on the way.

ARCELIA MILLER: Under His Wings, we provide counseling and coaching and professional development for girls that have gone through difficult things. All of us have gone through different things.

Experiences that are sometimes triggered by images, sounds, and in Miller’s case, a particular scent.

FRANCO: I have Pine Sol in my bag right there.

…the smell of pine takes Miller back to a painful time in her childhood.

ARCELIA MILLER: My dad, he is a Marine. And so Pine Sol was the thing.

Miller says her dad was sort of obsessed with cleaning. When Miller was three years old, her military-minded father became a single parent after her mother left.

VELMA FRANCO: [heavy sigh] It was very heartbreaking because I knew personally that I couldn’t take care of my girls at the time. I was sick.

Velma Franco is Miller’s mother. She was married to Miller’s father for seven years until her health began to fail in 1978. As Franco tells this part of her story, Miller grabs her hand.

VELMA FRANCO: They gave me six months to live. I was 25, 26 when that happened. I remember cursing God one time when I was going into emergency surgery because something burst inside of me. This is how you treated me? How could you? I didn’t think I would ever be able to see my girls again. I never thought that the girls would forgive me.

Miller says growing up, forgiving her mom was the last thing on her mind.

ARCELIA MILLER: I knew that my mom was gone and so I felt the feelings of abandonment and confusion and thought that maybe it was my fault and you just don’t understand what’s going on. You missed her? I did miss her.

But when a now-healthy Franco re-entered Miller’s life five years later, 8-year-old Miller wanted nothing to do with her mom or her new-found faith.

ARCELIA MILLER: Because I still think I also had anger towards her for leaving and then even when she shared about Jesus and she bought my first journal that I’ve ever had and also a Bible, I wasn’t interested. It actually would make me sick. When she would hug me and would say thank you Jesus. And I’d be like ugghh.

VELMA FRANCO: She’d stiffen up in my arms, yes.

BROWN: Were you at all deterred?

VELMA: No…

But she says there were plenty of hurtful moments.

VELMA FRANCO: I think it was at her wedding. I felt left out completely. We were asked if we had anything to say to get up and talk, remember? Uh-huh. And I was stopped by a dirty look. So I did not get up.

ARCELIA MILLER: I was 23. I was still offended and didn’t have what it took because I didn’t have Christ to help me truly forgive from the heart.

As a young wife, and the mom of two, Miller says she tried forgiving Franco on her own. Then one day at a Mothers of Preschoolers gathering…

ARCELIA MILLER: And I just broke down and couldn’t stop crying. And the Lord was telling me and showing about how we can hold the sins over people over their head and put them in bondage. And so I just told God, I’m ready. I want to forgive my mom. I know I tried. But I need your help. And I’m ready.

That was in 2010. That’s also when Miller decided to leave her corporate consulting job and move to Alabama. In 2019, Miller started volunteering at the girls home. Then, three months later, she was asked to lead the organization. Franco relocated to Alabama in 2023. Not long after, she also started serving the girls as a volunteer.

AUDIO: [GIRLS MAKING WAFFLES]

Back at the house, the new arrivals are busy in the kitchen making waffles.

AUDIO: [FAKE ENGLISH ACCENT] Do you want them dark, light or fluffy? Whatever you want… [LAUGHTER]

After the fellowship, it’s group time and sharing.

TEEN GIRL: A lot of times I feel like I’m not worthy because of how I feel about myself. I immediately feel other people think the same way.

ARCELIA MILLER: It takes courage on the young ladies' part to be able to say I’m ready. But in order to help them you have to enter into the pain that they’re going through.

Miller says it’s because of her own story of forgiveness and healing, she’s able to help these girls work through their pain.

ARCELIA MILLER: And this story shows the beauty of what God can do through brokenness and he’s certainly turned this ashes into beauty and it’s not done. He’s still working.

Reporting for WORLD, I’m Myrna Brown in Spanish Fort, Alabama.

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