What makes a TV show a “dad TV show”?

The following is a conversation between me and my 22-year-old son, Tristan.

Tristan: Sometimes, when I’m in a particularly cynical mood, I sit and wonder where society went wrong in raising men. Pessimistic conservative philosophy would point to the Marxist deconstruction of the nuclear family, the rising rates of fatherless homes, and even the trickle-down effects of the sexual revolution on our society, leading to a sense of meaninglessness in human interaction. While these theories are arguably the true reason for the decline of masculinity in our society, I’d like to offer a much simpler explanation: the fading away of “dad TV shows.”

Ted: I totally get that. When I was growing up, there wasn’t really a masculinity crisis, but my dad let me stay up late with him to watch a war movie called Patton and a football movie called Paper Lion in addition to the 1986 Rose Bowl and the 1987 Boz/Bo Jackson Monday Night Football game. In that, he was sharing some of his values with me … and showing me what it looked like to be a man.

Tristan: For this to make any sense, context is important. If you grew up like I did, your dad was a hard worker who tirelessly provided for his family. There exists a humility to this, the acceptance of sometimes monotonous work that provided for the people he cared about most. Every morning, when the 3 a.m. alarm went off to send him off to unload UPS planes, he was up and at it. These kinds of men, and their humility, are what run our country. At the end of the day, they get home and want to relax by eating and watching television—usually “dad TV shows.” Getting to watch “dad” television is part of what has shaped me as a man.

Ted: I appreciate it. My dad worked hard, too, and I learned from him. I loved watching those shows with you, and I loved working to help provide for you … even if it didn’t always seem like I loved it. The Lord was kind and always provided. I probably did a little too much eating.

Tristan: To be considered a “dad TV show” there must be at least one of the following: grizzled old men doing something dangerous, something being restored or built, or negotiating the price of a unique/antique item. All of these categories appeal to men with some life under their belt, tapping into the wisdom that they have.

Ted: I loved grizzled old men who have lived some life and know how to do stuff. That was always aspirational to me.

Tristan: Here are some examples: Rust Valley Restorers. This show follows two very fun and gruff Canadian men who restore old cars. The show revolves around Mike and Avery swearing at each other, the vehicles they’re working on, and basically anything else that exists.

Ted: If there was a channel that just ran new episodes of this show nonstop, I’d watch nothing else.

Tristan: Pawn Stars. Rick and his dad, Richard, run a pawn store in Las Vegas where they negotiate with customers for their family heirlooms. They do a lot of “calling in experts” and lowballing the customer, which appeals to dads because every dad has the desire to find things for cheap. There are also plenty of bleeped-out cuss words.

Ted: I love old things, fathers and sons, and Las Vegas. It’s like they made a show just for me.

Tristan: Deadliest Catch. This show revolves around Alaskan and Northeastern coast lobster fishing. It is gritty and profane due to the nature of the work. The men on these boats battle the elements and the cold while still trying to catch enough lobsters to turn a profit. It’s a very manly show.

Ted: I’m a sucker for a boat show with thick ropes and gaffs and stuff. I want to be a wharf guy so bad, despite growing up in a cornfield—or perhaps, because of it.

Tristan: Maine Cabin Masters. I discovered this show with my dad and my uncle. It revolves around a family who renovate cabins for people in Maine. The show’s essence is the lives of these simple Maine people who want the cabin their grandparents left for them. The show is really sincere and makes the viewer feel good because you get to watch rugged, Northern tradesmen do what they love, which leads to kind, Northern cottage owners getting to see their cabins resurrected.

Ted: Also aspirational. I’m a sucker for a cabin on a body of water.

Tristan: The other side of this “dad TV show” concept is the act of actually watching it with a dad. This means that we have a dad we love and who loves us. We get to see the things that they enjoy, the simplicity of their hobbies, and the values they value. And, ultimately, watching these shows means that we get to spend time with our dads.

Ted: It’s funny, there was a version of evangelicalism when I was a young adult that really eschewed the idea of having a television and watching it. Apparently, you were supposed to just spend all your nonwork time reading the Bible and playing worship songs on an acoustic guitar. Granted, I’m glad we did way more together than watching television, but I’m so glad these moments were meaningful to you, too. There was so much of life in those years that just felt like sheer financial and emotional survival. It was kind of the Lord to provide enjoyment as well.