True wealth comes from “the fruit of the womb”

“Get married sooner. Have more kids.” That’s the stark advice Shark Tank star Kevin O’Leary gave recently. The shrewd investor known for pressing entrepreneurs on their financial details then added this unconventional advice: “Forget about money when it comes to kids.”

Young men especially need this encouragement. Amid news about a historic drop in the U.S. birth rate, some pointed to the trend of extended adolescence in which young men and women are pushing the markers of adulthood such as marriage and parenthood farther out.

Even though many young men have jobs and independent living arrangements that are among the markers of adulthood, the term “extended adolescence” is appropriate because of what it says about where they are in their progression from depending on others to becoming someone others depend on.

They may pursue work and places of their own out of a natural motivation toward independence, but they need other men to call them to use their innate abilities to protect and provide not merely for their own independence but for the good and flourishing of others.

But how does the call for a man to be a provider fit with O’Leary’s advice to “forget about money when it comes to kids”? How can a young man forget about the rapidly rising costs of starting a family and buying a house while men’s wages have only grown modestly over the last 50 years?

This is where young men not only need older men to encourage them to provide for the good of others but also to grow in dependence on their heavenly Father. The same God who gave the first commandment to be fruitful and multiply is also the one Jesus described when He said, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11).

God can provide the good things a man needs to give to the children who depend on him to provide. God also reveals to us that children are among the good things He gives us. “Children are a heritage from the LORD,” Solomon declares in Psalm 127, “the fruit of the womb a reward.” In that context, we can’t simply do a cost-benefit analysis to determine if we should have children.

That was the emphatic point an older man made to me when I insisted that starting a family didn’t work financially.

It happened when Hubert and Mary Morken, a couple who had mentored my wife, Candice, and me toward marriage, visited us in Colorado. I remember at the time reading a sign along the path we hiked that said, “Beware of rattlesnakes,” but being more afraid of the conversation taking place between Mary and Candice in front of me—filled with words like fertility, baby, and money.

Back at our apartment after the hike, the baby issue got a full hearing. The Morkens weren’t just casually interested in when Candice and I thought we might have kids—they wanted to know why we weren’t having kids right now. I felt outnumbered as I tried to explain our financial situation. I tried to rationally offer numbers and facts to make the case that we weren’t ready to have a baby. “Budget for everything except babies,” Hubert countered. “Babies aren’t just another expense, they’re wealth.”

Some may find Hubert’s style intrusive, but his words rang true to me. Bringing life into the world isn’t like leasing a car, buying a dog, or even pitching a product on Shark Tank. Not even close. Something as grand and miraculous as a baby goes beyond the realm of financial calculations and into the realm of faith.

Besides, Hubert was on to me. He could see my caution wasn’t as much evidence of patience and prudence as it was my fear and trepidation—about growing to be someone a new life could depend on.

These days, I appeal to young men to get married and have children and, as they face various financial concerns, to look beyond the bottom line. Yes, babies cost money and require many years of sacrificial investment, but after having four and being a dad for 25 years, I know what Hubert was trying to say. Children are priceless. And they bring infinitely more than they take away. Babies—and the soul-shaping work of guiding them from helpless dependence into the next generation of dependable men and women—are true wealth.