The wreckage from Obergefell

This summer marks the 10th anniversary of the landmark Supreme Court case Obergefell v. Hodges , and it’s an opportunity to reflect on the 5-4 decision that legalized same-sex marriage nationwide. Conservative legal theorists still believe the case was wrongly decided on constitutional grounds. For same-sex couples and their progressive allies, the decision remains an important civil rights victory. But for Christians, Obergefell should be a reminder that every structure reflects the handiwork of its designer, even when the people who benefit from it don’t know—or think about—the architect who created the blueprint.    

The biblical blueprint for marriage is found in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The “one-flesh” nature of the marital union is essential to its purpose, but those who have sought to redefine marriage through both law and culture reject this Biblical truth.  They view marriage as merely a contract between two—at least for now—consenting adults for a season in their lives.    

A society saturated in casual sex and serial cohabitation treats marriage like a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with more expensive rings. But marriage, Biblically speaking, is a covenant union between one man and one woman for one lifetime. Recent history has proven that if we reject God’s blueprint for marriage, it’s inevitable that we will follow one created by someone else. And like a homeowner who knocks down a wall without considering what it supports, a society trying to “update” the institution to make it more modern often can’t anticipate what else will be disrupted by major changes to the structure.   

A quick scan of headlines since the Obergefell decision proves that smashing traditional social norms related to sex, sexuality, and gender identity becomes easier once you dislodge the foundation of family. In 2018, CNN’s feature story during the Father’s Day weekend was entitled: “He gave birth. He breastfed. Now, he wants his son to see him as a man.” The profile of a man and woman who both identified as the opposite sex pushed the idea that men can get pregnant on a holiday that honors fathers. The 2023 GQ story entitled “The deeply human love stories of people and their sex dolls” is as dystopian as its headline suggests and points to a future where people will have to ask whether both participants in a “marriage” are even human. New York magazine published a “practical guide to polyamory” in January 2024 that seemed to signal its resolution to make “marriages” involving three or more people the next civil rights cause.   

The irony is that the people who cheered the Obergefell decision and the deceptively named Respect for Marriage Act in 2022 that codified it will have no basis for defending their definition of marriage when it is inevitably challenged in court. Anyone who believes there is no good reason to restrict the definition of marriage to one man and woman has no basis to limit it to only two adults.    

They certainly won’t be able to appeal to the scriptures or tradition to explain why three men should not be allowed to solemnize their “throuple,” whether at city hall or a local church. And because family policy is downstream from marriage law and our ideas about “rights” are all wrong, it will only be a matter of time before one of these polyamorous family units demands to adopt a child from foster care or have their insurance pay for a surrogate to carry their child.    

The past decade is proof of the brokenness and confusion that result when God’s design for sex, sexuality, marriage, and family is discarded in favor of whatever consenting adults desire, governments legislate, the culture approves, or tech companies can manufacture. They are a feature, not a bug, of political and cultural rebellion against biblical truth. They tell a tale not of the unity between one man and one woman built into the design of marriage, but of the division that results when a society attempts to reorder relationships—to our own bodies and with others—in a way that disregards human nature. 

In addition to its social functions, the Bible also alludes to a unique spiritual purpose and representative function of marriage. In Ephesians 5:31-32, the Apostle Paul compares the earthly marriage between a husband and wife to the eternal union between Jesus Christ and His church.    

The past decade is a needed reminder of Solomon’s wise words in Psalm 127:1, “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” The people who gave their blessing to the judicial demolition crew that took a sledgehammer to marriage are learning that hard lesson now. A genuine revival of marriage is only possible through righting the relationship between men, women, and the God who created the institution.