Sex is meant to be real

With the onslaught of AI and the nearly infinite possibilities of virtual reality simulations and on-demand adult entertainers, getting our sexual desires back into accordance with Scripture appears to be harder than ever. As noted by one sociologist, even “devout Christians, male and female, young and old, have nearly limitless opportunities to violate their own values by committing virtual fornication with images on a screen.” Privacy within one’s home and most importantly on one’s devices allows for many of us to be hopelessly deep in the throes of sex addiction with those we love most being blissfully unaware all the while.

The foremost symptom of a digitized sexuality is its progressive disembodiment. Sexual liberation usually consisted of being able to do things with other people with no regard for biblical moral standards; more and more in the 2020s, it means asserting an autonomy so totalizing that the goal is to have one’s individual sexual fantasies pursued to the utmost.

Those in “committed” relationships with AI companions typify this extreme. Real human beings should not deceive themselves with the prospect of curating a perfectly personalized romantic paradise through the delusions of AI. Interpersonal relationships, with their risk of getting hurt or having expectations rejected, can seem too troublesome compared to talking to a something pretending it’s a someone. Unsurprisingly, some who pursue their erotic imagination with LLMs while simultaneously dating or being married to someone else find it as inspiration for quickly moving from one partner to the next.

Digitized sexuality’s pornification of sex flows downstream from its growing separation from the organic possibility of procreation and, consequently, the stabilizing exclusivity of marriage. The harm comes with the false assumption that sex’s essence is purely about maximizing physical or emotional pleasure. At that point, no amount of genuine human commitment and closeness can compete with what is constantly available at one’s fingertips online.

Affairs that take place without resulting in any face-to-face interactions can produce superior hits of dopamine because they are entirely on one’s own terms from beginning to end. At the heart of any kind of addiction is the attempt to displace God and the comfort and satisfaction only He is meant to give us.

To uphold a faithfully Christian sexual ethic that can stand against these extremes, both the body and the soul must remain front and center. Sex, like any other realm of human activity, is meant to speak to all aspects of our being. Having children declares that sex is meant to go beyond itself by leading to the giving of life as opposed to producing a self-actualizing abyss. Pledging oneself to another for lifelong fidelity in marriage proves that joining together as husband and wife is meant to serve as the normative example of the complete imaging of God in humanity.

The spirituality of sex is one of the greatest gifts of the Christian tradition when it comes to making sense of our sexuality. One of the most dangerous pitfalls for believers to fall into is to extoll the goodness of sex without directly challenging how secular culture so tragically distorts it. Sex is pleasurable by divine design and fully meant to be enjoyed within the guardrails God has established for it. However, we cannot forget its finitude. The union and joy sex brings in both body and soul serve to point us towards the greater communion we are promised with our Creator. It is meant to be rightly cherished as a sign and seal for the transcendence we will eventually experience perfectly.

As many wisely begin to see the need for unplugging from being terminally online, sex deserves the same reevaluation. Sexuality can bring us closer to who and what we really are in the sight of God and all he wants us to be if we let it. It can also bring distortion and disaster.