Sacrificing children on the altar of self-love

We’ve sacrificed our children on the altar of self-love. 

Let’s begin with the pandemic. Children have suffered the most since early 2020. The educational loss, especially for the disadvantaged, has been devastating. On top of that, abused children were sometimes abandoned to their abusers because there were no teachers or social workers to protect them. And, thanks to isolation and lockdowns, mental health has been an all-out disaster, especially for teens. 

School closures were warranted at the pandemic’s start—when little was known about the disease—but they should have ended promptly when data revealed that children were at very low risk of serious illness from COVID. But adult desires—as expressed through teachers unions and government officials—trumped the fundamental needs of children. The adults in charge cast their anxiety on the powerless—many of whom will be suffering the consequences for a lifetime. 

It’s a common tragedy for adults to bury the essential needs of children in this way. Consider divorce, often entered into because one or both partners are “not happy.” In a recent New York Times op-ed titled “Divorce Can Be an Act of Radical Self-Love,” the writer described her incredible, involved, and loving ex-husband as someone she still loved. However, she added, “I loved myself more.” She continued to say subordinating her ambitions by “always putting my children first” would be “impossible without lopping off a vital part of myself.” Lest you doubt her commitment to self, the same author wrote a previous piece titled “I’ve Picked My Job Over My Kids.”

In a widely celebrated piece published by The Atlantic, the trend continued. “I loved my husband; it’s not that I didn’t,” wrote Honor Jones, the mother of three young children. “But I felt that he was standing between me and the world, between me and myself.”

Similarly, celebrity author Glennon Melton, whose most recent book, Untamed, has sold more than 2 million copies, speaks in positive terms about her divorce from the father of her three children. In her post announcing their separation, he’s described as “beloved, wonderful, kind and brave,” but none of that mattered because, she wrote, “I don’t fit here anymore.”

You can see the same self-obsessed dialogue at the heart of the current abortion debate—where unborn babies are only considered human when they aren’t an inconvenience. Recently, Saturday Night Live actress Cecily Strong performed a bit admitting to her abortion at the age of 23 and suggesting that she’d never have become an SNL star without it. America’s progressive left has no issue condoning the literal sacrifice of children if those children impede one’s career ambitions.

Many politicians promise to solve problems with more government. Of course, the government is happy to help, attempting to provide state-subsidized day care so parents can work longer hours and leave their children in the hands of child care providers. And more government child care means more state control over kids—which is the opposite of what they need: direction and moral guidance from their parents. Rather than the highest priority, children have become burdens to be lifted and barriers to “radical self-love” and living one’s supposed “best life.”

Pandemic decisions made by teachers unions and state governments have been catastrophic in terms of progress and standards—and still, many young children are hindered from learning vital tools of communication as their faces and that of their teachers are covered by masks all day.

As for the smallest victims, unborn babies, nearly 1 million in the United States alone are killed in the womb every year. While many of their mothers are in difficult situations, our society has worked overtime to make women feel it’s OK to sacrifice their children for any reason whatsoever. 

Certainly, there are caveats to everything. In early 2020, it can be argued that schools were necessarily closed to provide time to evaluate a serious situation. There are instances in which divorce is Biblically justified. But in light of the data that shows how negatively children are affected by school closures, divorce, and other adult-centered choices, it’s time to melt down the golden calf of self-satisfaction. 

In today’s culture, moms are often told they needn’t feel “mom guilt” for anything. Such guilt can be taken to an extreme, but usually it’s a sign—a sign produced by our God-given maternal instincts. Maybe right now is not the time for self-satisfaction. Maybe right now, for these few brief years when our kids are little, we are called—as one of my favorite organizations is named—to put them before us, just as God put us first when He sent Jesus to die for our sins. Now that was an act of radical self-sacrifice. Christians must show the world what it means to follow His example.