Redeeming the dog days of summer

Like most children, summer was my favorite season when I was growing up. What’s not to love? Summer meant baseball, pool parties, carefree days, more daylight, and (most importantly) no school. But I admit that summers have lost their luster for me as an adult. The older I get, the less I enjoy the oppressive heat and humidity. Plus, with kids out of school and travel more frequent, it’s a struggle to get into a predictable and productive schedule as a family. How do you keep your kids busy on long hot summer days?

I should be clear at the outset that I am keenly aware of my deficiencies as a parent. So, I am reluctant to share parenting advice with any kind of prescription or authority. But what I want to do in this column is invite you into my own brainstorming as a parent, as my wife and I are trying to help our kids develop productive rhythms this summer. None of what follows should be confused with divine law. I’m not trying to be legalistic. There is Christian liberty within the principles of God’s Word. So, take these suggestions for what they are worth and adapt them to your own convictions and family’s needs.

For starters, we are trying to limit our kids’ screen time, especially during the day. It’s a well-worn criticism at this point, but parents should avoid outsourcing their kids’ imagination to a tablet, television, or gaming monitor. It can be a drug, complete with compulsive behavior and withdrawals. We’re not anti-screens altogether, but limit your viewing to the evenings and do it as a family.

From there, kids need pretty much exactly what adults need: productive work, family and friendships, meaningful leisure, rest and worship. (This list is pretty close to the elements of a meaningful life described by Leon R. Kass in his excellent book, Leading a Worthy Life: Finding Meaning in Modern Times). The work bit will be the hardest. The kids’ day job (school) is most often on hiatus for the summer. But that doesn’t mean they should have free reign to be lazy for three months. Kids thrive best when they have some structure and accountability. So create a list of chores and make it visible in your home.

I recently saw a video that suggested making a distinction between “expectations” (like making your bed and cleaning up after meals) and “extras” (like doing lawn work or washing and cleaning the cars), with some monetary motivations attached to the latter. Older kids might even create their own business (yard work, a lemonade stand, babysitting, etc.) Be realistic in your expectations, but set the bar high for productivity. We need to teach our kids that work is a creational good (Genesis 2:15), not a result of the fall into sin.

Summer is also a great time to foster relationships. This starts in the home. Parents shouldn’t begrudge the extra time their little ones are around, pestering them with questions and requests. The summers you have with your kids at home are a non-renewable resource. Enjoy them! I think often of the line from Billy Joel (in a somewhat different context): “This is the time to remember / Cause it will not last forever / These are the days to hold onto / Cause we won’t, although we’ll want to.” So play catch. Jump on the trampoline. Play a board game (even if you hate them, like me). Make the most of your family vacations and your extra time together. But also encourage your kids to get out in the neighborhood and make friends. Again, this criticism is so common as to be cliché, but something important was lost when we traded outside playtime until dark for staying inside all day and staring at screens like zombies. Every kid should come home sweating at the end of the day.

Meaningful leisure is also important. Children should learn the art of entertaining themselves without a digital crutch. Expand your list of chores to include meaningful activities for downtime: reading a book (help them set a goal for an entire book series), drawing a picture, writing a story, playing (peaceably) with their siblings, building something, serving their neighbors, etc. If and when you make time for television, you might consider watching a whole series together or all the movies of a particular filmmaker.

Finally, make sure you prioritize rest and worship as a family. Summer schedules vary with travel, camps, and activities, but don’t take summer off from church. Make sure your kids know the public worship of God is a top priority. Summer is also a good time to commit or recommit to family worship. It doesn’t have to be long or extravagant. Even reading a psalm at dinner time and praying for your needs and the needs of others can be a good start. Also teach your kids by word and example how to develop their own private prayer life and Bible study.

Summer doesn’t have to be your favorite season, but don’t count down the days until your kids go back to school. Make the most of your time. Find joy in your children. It won’t last forever.