Marriage is good and water is wet

Every so often, a study comes along that “discovers” something that we should have never doubted. A recent survey of American women run by the Institute for Family Studies and YouGov is one of those. The study’s conclusion? Married women are happier than unmarried women, and married mothers are the happiest of all. The study concluded that marriage and children are both good things.

In other news, water is wet.

For decades, feminism has worked to persuade women otherwise. Marriage and motherhood, women are told, are a prison. Happiness can only be found in independence, autonomy, and professional achievement. Women who marry and bear children are pitied as trapped; women who refuse both are praised as empowered and enlightened.

This messaging has not been subtle. Articles and books warn that marriage benefits only men, and that children bring only exhaustion and regret. Career, travel, and self-actualization: these are said to be the true markers of fulfillment. The data, however, contradicts the propaganda. Married mothers consistently report more happiness, stronger purpose, and deeper meaning in their lives than any other category of women.

While it is easy to point the finger outward, evangelicalism has not been untouched by this low view of the family. While secular culture derides marriage and children as chains, evangelical thought leaders often warn against “the idol of family.” Of course, family can indeed become an idol—so can missions, evangelism, preaching, or any other good gift. However, the overwrought warnings over the past decade about the idolatry of family are almost laughably tone-deaf to the spirit of our age.

The world is not telling our neighbors, fellow church members, and children to idolize the family. They are being catechized to avoid family altogether. Fertility rates are collapsing, marriage is delayed indefinitely, and young people are told happiness lies in anything but forming a household.

When evangelical leaders issue stern warnings against idolizing the family while marriage and fertility rates continue to plummet, they are (to quote C.S. Lewis) “running about with fire extinguishers when there is a flood.”

Christians should not be surprised when surveys and studies affirm what Scripture and natural law have always testified: Marriage and family are not arbitrary social constructs but part of God’s creational design. Grace does not destroy nature; it restores and perfects it.

Natural law teaches that marriage and children are integral to human flourishing. Even unbelievers recognize—though often dimly—that the bonds of marriage and parenthood anchor life in meaning and joy. Scripture declares the same with clarity: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing” (Proverbs 18:22). Children are “a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward” (Psalm 127:3). Marriage is to be “held in honor among all” (Hebrews 13:4).

The evidence is both theological and empirical. Married women report being less lonely, receiving more affection, and finding a greater sense of purpose than those without a husband or children. This truth does not deny that God calls some to a life of celibacy for the sake of His kingdom, nor that others bear the trial of longing for marriage or children they have not received. These, too, fall under the wise providence of God. However, neither reality overturns the creational norm that marriage and family are good gifts from God, to be pursued and honored.

Christians must say, without apology, what both revelation and reason affirm: Marriage is a good gift. Motherhood and fatherhood are blessings. Family is not a trap but a calling that grounds life in love, sacrifice, and joy. This view of the family sounds countercultural—because it is. However, it is also the truth.

Yes, family can be disordered. Yes, marriage can be hard. However, acknowledging difficulty does not mean denying goodness. The world says such burdens rob women of freedom. God’s Word and God’s world testify that marriage and children give women purpose, joy, and life.

Marriage is good. Motherhood is good. Family is good. And we should say so as plainly as we say that water is wet.