Don’t rush for the first response

Middle schoolers are a strange species. I’ve parented three of them. I’ve pastored hundreds of them. And I also remember being one. In 1939, Winston Churchill described Soviet Russia as, “a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.” This is also an apt description of the middle school brain. How many times have I witnessed the actions of middle-schoolers and thought, “What were they thinking?” The answer is almost always, “They weren’t.”

Once, in middle school, I was taking a test, and I happened to be the first one to finish and walk my paper to the teacher’s desk. I remember some of my classmates looking at me as if they were impressed by my speedy test-taking skills. I happened to also get one of the highest grades in the class on that test. It felt great to achieve a good grade, but my half-baked middle school brain learned the wrong lesson that day. I was more excited about finishing first.

For the next several weeks this became my new identity. I would rush through assignments and tests because I wanted to keep my streak alive of being first. Eventually, my grades began to slip, and my teacher asked me why I was rushing to turn in my work. She pointed out that I was leaving questions unanswered and making simple mistakes. I wasn’t checking over my work or reviewing my answers. I was in a race against no one to win a prize that did not exist. Time would forget that I was first to finish, but my permanent record would forever show the results of my rushing.

In our hurried, social media age, this race to be first is still raging. Headlines break before facts are sorted, and the pressure to offer an instant opinion feels overwhelming. But Scripture counsels another way. Proverbs 18:17 teaches, “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” When we rush to be the first voice online or in conversation, we often speak from partial knowledge, and partial knowledge can distort truth. Like a building set on a shaky foundation, a judgment formed too soon rarely stands when the full story comes out.

Proverbs 18:13 warns, “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” Real listening takes time. It takes time to gather facts, to weigh them, and to pray for wisdom. Choosing silence until we know more is not weakness, it is self-control. Prudence rarely goes viral, but it almost never has to be retracted.

Impatience steals peace from our souls. News cycles thrive on outrage, but James 1:19 says, “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” By slowing our speech, and by the Holy Spirit’s grace, we move from reactive chatter to redemptive conversation. A well-timed word, informed by truth, and spoken in love, can heal far more than a hasty tweet ever could.

Every week will offer up a fresh serving of outrage du jour. And there will be a real temptation to rush to respond. Sometimes it will be motivated by a desire to be first. Sometimes it will be motivated by a fear of being labeled a coward. The culture says, “Silence is violence.” Online Christendom will scream, “If your pastor didn’t say something about ______ this Sunday, find a new church!” But what does the Bible say?

The Bible says that Christians are accountable to God for our words. And the Lord isn’t measuring faithfulness by speed. May we be known as people of truth who strive for the right response, not just the first response.