A child is a gift, not a commodity

As I write this, my wife and I just welcomed our second child into the world. The joy of children has replaced the long, aching years of infertility, and yet, those years still shape the way we see life, family formation, and the law. Our conviction, based on faith, is that every child conceived—no matter how or where—deserves to be fully loved and protected. This conviction is also why our own journey through reproductive assistance never included in-vitro fertilization (IVF). 

Like so many couples in our shoes, we spent years visiting doctors, enduring tests, and following medical advice. Again and again, we were told that there was one path forward—a one-size-fits-all answer to infertility—that path almost always being IVF. It was expensive, invasive, and, for us, morally impossible to accept. And it wasn’t because there were no other options, but because IVF had become the reflexive, almost automatic, recommendation from fertility clinics. 

We couldn’t ignore the deeper concerns: human embryos created, labeled male or female, and then stored indefinitely or even discarded; over a million tiny lives frozen in limbo, many of whom are never implanted; thousands more lost when freezer storage fails; embryos chosen or discarded because of sex selection or carried by surrogates for same-sex couples or unwed single individuals who cannot biologically procreate.

We could not see ourselves participating in that system. For us, it was a non-starter. 

Instead, we sought out natural, restorative treatments—approaches that respected the body’s rhythms, worked with them, and gave life the best chance to flourish without violating our conscience. We learned to chart cycles, time copulation correctly, address root causes, and pursue fertility in a way that enhanced total health rather than overlooking it. In the end, the miracle of life is still exactly that—a miracle. God’s natural design. It cannot be manufactured, shortcut, or commodified. And it should never be destroyed or left in perpetual frozen limbo for profit’s sake. 

That’s why recent developments surrounding IVF trouble me deeply. President Trump’s recent executive order seeking to expand IVF access, along with new language in the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA), concern me. The proposed language in this year’s defense spending bill would create a permanent entitlement for military families to access IVF, locking in year-over-year federal spending for the practice. This is not the solution to our nation’s infertility crisis. 

Having lived through our own tear-filled nights, weighing every possible option, I know how desperate the longing for a child can be. But IVF misses the mark. It treats children as products—things to be ordered, selected, and purchased. It carries forward the shadow of the eugenics movement by making “designer babies” a reality. It exploits women through surrogacy, increases health risks for mothers and children, and silences proponents of restorative, cost-effective, and life-honoring alternatives. 

Children are a gift, not a commodity. Not a government earmark. Not a spending entitlement or bargaining chip across political lines. From conception, they are miracles, not medical experiments. They deserve no legal loophole, no moral blind-eye, nor any legislative compromise, but rather protection from the moment of conception until they enter this world. 

We’ve stood on God’s promises, held fast to His Word, and refused to conform to how conventional wisdom would have solved our infertility problem. Instead, we waited for God’s timeline. As a result, we just celebrated the birth of our second child. We give thanks to the Lord, and we pray nearly every day for other couples walking the same road of carrying life into this world.