A warrior for the family

To see him around children was to catch a glimpse of his gift. Over dinner in our home, my wife and I noticed that Dr. James Dobson had chosen to sit by our children, and was deeply engaged with our daughter, asking her: “What can I know about Katie to understand you better?”

She never forgot that dinner, nor did we.

James Dobson was one of the most influential voices in American evangelicalism for at least a half-century. He was born to parents who were Nazarene missionaries and he grew up in a time of radical social change. He attendee Point Loma College, and in 1960 he married his wife, Shirley. They would be married for almost 65 years. Dobson went on to do graduate work at the University of Southern California, earning a Ph.D. in psychology. Early on, he had a deep interest in marriage, children, and the state of the family. After graduation with his doctorate, he was appointed associate clinical professor of pediatrics at USC, but he also continued to work in research and began speaking and writing.

Everything changed in 1967, with the publication of his most famous work, Dare to Discipline. In the book, Dobson took on the liberal parenting advice doled out by influential figures such as Dr. Benjamin Spock. In a real sense, he became the antidote to Spockism, asserting that children need boundaries and rules and, yes, discipline.

Honestly, it’s hard today to realize that Dare to Discipline was downright revolutionary at the time. Progressive elites insisted that children are basically good, needing only nurture and encouragement. Parents were instructed to let their children discover their inner child and blossom into their inherent potential. Rules, boundaries, obedience, and discipline were rejected as repressive. The results were predictable.

Dobson’s approach was groundbreaking in two ways. First, he argued for corrective discipline as necessary for the child’s moral development and nurture. Second, he spoke as a Christian to fellow Christians in terms of a distinctively Christian understanding of the child, the needs of the child, and the nature of the family. Dare to Discipline became a best-seller.

Of course, the larger culture was moving in the opposite direction—fast. Moral relativism, the sexual revolution, no-fault divorce, and the acids of modernity were subverting the family. Furthermore, the revolutionaries were in near total control of higher education, even as they dominated the cultural conversation. Dobson began pushing back, and he started communicating with parents through media. In 1977, he established Focus on the Family.

All this came as liberalizing trends were redefining American society. Marriage was undermined, parents were told to go to their rooms, and the sexual revolution was accelerating. By the early 1970s, groups like the American Psychological Association were normalizing homosexuality and legitimizing sexual perversions as alternative lifestyles. Dobson’s radio program and books distributed his teaching nationwide, and his influence grew—fast.

It was almost like the larger culture had decided to declare war on the family. Dobson was determined to press back. Controversies over the White House Conference on Families (originally the White House Conference on the Family, but changed due to liberal pressure), put Dobson on the front lines of the era’s hottest political and moral controversies. He didn’t back off from the fight. As a matter of fact, he became one of the most significant leaders in what became known as the New Christian Right. Given his media presence and stature among conservative Christians, Dr. Dobson, as he was usually known, leveraged his personal influence for conservative causes, and Focus on the Family grew explosively. He was able to bridge influence in the White House (with Republican presidents) with influence in thousands of American homes and with millions of listeners and readers. His role was unique, and Jim and Shirley Dobson together became part of the explosion of evangelical influence in the United States.

Focus on the Family would move to Colorado Springs in 1991, and its visitor center was soon listed among the most visited attractions in the entire region. The flagship radio program was heard throughout the nation, and Dr. Dobson’s soft voice carried firm conviction. The ministry expanded into international arenas and extended its reach through an entire universe of programs. In a new generation, facing unprecedented challenges to the family, its work continues.

James Dobson had his enemies, and he could be quite a fighter when it came to defending the family and influencing public policy. I served on the Board of Directors of Focus on the Family for years, and I saw his determination renewed issue by issue, program by program, and controversy by controversy. I also saw him struggle with some of the pressing challenges of an incredibly huge ministry. In time, Dobson would leave Focus on the Family and establish the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute. He continued to speak in defense of the family, even as some of the children raised on Dare to Discipline became grandparents themselves.

The death of Dr. James Dobson underlines the passing of a remarkable evangelical generation. He lived life on a big stage, and historians will have to reckon with him long into the future. But, to be honest, I will remember him most as the famous man who chose to sit next to a child and make that young person know she was important to him. It was Jesus who told his disciples, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14). That’s the verse that comes to my mind, as I think about the life and legacy of Dr. James Dobson. I think you can understand why.