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Hindsight and hope

Q&A with Joshua Harris: Lessons learned two decades after the courtship revolution

Joshua Harris Whitney L. Buckner

Hindsight and hope
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Jessica Van Der Wyngaard films Harris (center) and Dale Kuehne for I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

Jessica Van Der Wyngaard films Harris (center) and Dale Kuehne for I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Whitney L. Buckner/I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Sophia Lee

Sophia is a senior reporter for WORLD Magazine. She is a World Journalism Institute and University of Southern California graduate. Sophia resides in Los Angeles, Calif., with her husband.



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IKDG inspired me as a parent of adolecent girls: It addressed lots of feelings I had as a younger Christian man (I met my wife in 1979) having grown up in a secular world with few moral sexual guidelines (I was taught to persue women for sex primarily). How does one conduct relationships in a God honoring way? I came to the conclusion that I needed to treat women as friends and avoid any form of sensual contact. I made a commitment between myself and God that I would not kiss a girl until we were both conviced we were in love. My then girlfriend became very upset one night as we hugged goodbye that I had never tiried to kiss her. She became relieved and pleased when I confessed my commitment to not kiss until the time was right.

So, as I read Josh's book and he addressed so many of the emotional stuggles I had gone through at that time in my life, I was sold on his book as a guide line to relationships, but not as a dating 101 handbook. I used his book to develop my own ideas how to help my daughters develop healthy relationships, and we as a family worked out those details and guidelines together. It was not perfect, and we in a manner of speaking "tweaked" things along the way. All in all, we have been thankful for IKDG.